Paddy on the day Chorus joined the Open Heart Band

## How Kor-us Joined the Band Good evening, me Sparks. Paddy O’Really here. What are ya at, me ducks? People ask how Kor-us Angelicus joined the Open Heart Band. Well, we didn’t find her on Craigslist or outside a community-college bass class—we recruited her directly from her imperial wedding to Discordion, Lord of the Dempire. Yeah, sounds like bollocks. I get it. But you asked. We weren’t invited. Neither were our weapons. Security was murder—but the flowers were gorgeous. We broke Kor-us out, *The Graduate* style—you know, the movie with the *Rain Man* feller in it. Jesus, what’s his name? Anyway, she did not object. By the second corridor, she was running ahead of us. Technically, it was an elopement. We changed the groom during transport. Once safe, Romeo asked her to join the band. We needed a bass player because Romeo and Maddie both wanted guitar. Nobody wants bass. Can’t play bass and sing, they told me. Very difficult. You’d need to be an android. Every great band begins with a dream. Ours began with a vacancy. Any bass players here tonight? There’s one. Says it was his first choice. Bless him. We gave Kor-us a wooden Precision Bass with a black pickguard. She looked at it and burst into tears. Perfectly normal reaction to being made bass player. But she held it like it was the first thing in her life that belonged to her—the first future anyone had ever asked her to choose. Then she played one note and shook an emergency light from the ceiling. Tender moment. Expensive moment. That’s when we knew we had our girl. She went from marrying an Emperor to splitting the fuel bill in a broke band. Some call that a fall from grace. Yes, Kor-us is nodding. No, love—not a fall from grace. Freedom— with a black pickguard. God love ya, Kor-us, me duckie. Paddy out. Love in. Yes, Maddie, I’m getting off the stage. Lord tundering, missus—it’s not even a real show.