I’m Too Old For Camelot (Sir Ector)

[Verse 1] I taught that boy to hold a blade to speak with honor, unafraid now Arthur drinks from golden shoes and starts diplomatic brawls at noon Cedric sings till candles cry Merlin speaks to the ceiling sky Bedivere looks close to death and no one here has taken breath --- [Pre-Chorus] And after all these wasted years I’m standing knee-deep in fools and beer --- [Chorus] I’m too old for Camelot too old for all this drunken rot too old to stop these idiots fighting while half the castle’s still igniting I’m too old for Camelot too tired to like the things you lot call “heroic” every night you’re all one goblet from a riot --- [Verse 2] Did none of you just see that knight? the giant green immortal fright? Sir Gawain chopped his bloody head and now the man’s not even dead That wasn’t normal, just to note yet Arthur asked the guards for goats to “celebrate the festive mood” dear God, this court is truly doomed --- [Pre-Chorus] And every warning that I give dies somewhere underneath the mead --- [Chorus] I’m too old for Camelot too old for this chaotic lot too old to play the wise old teacher to intoxicated failed creatures I’m too old for Camelot someone please just close the hall before another cursed magician rides directly through the wall --- [Bridge] And ladies please, with all respect less screaming sex and courtly threats Elaine, stop throwing cups at knights Morgan, stop those serpent eyes And Nimue, I beg you too please stop seducing royalty Guinevere already looks three seconds from killing somebody --- [Final Chorus] I’m too old for Camelot too old to save what you have lost too old to hold this kingdom steady while destiny drinks far too heavily I’m too old for Camelot and yet somehow I still remain the only man inside this hall who understands we’re all insane --- [Outro] I need a farm… some sheep… silence… and very little monarchy…