What is happening? It’s like I try and go inside my head and really try and figure it out and see what it is. That universe is trying to tell me but I look around and I just called bullshit everywhere. Everywhere is bullshit work bullshit, friends, bullshit church, bullshit, even some of my family bullshit if I’m writing this story it is really a horror horror movie but I’m not gonna accept that. I want peace in my own little fucking bubble and only have my loved ones that I actually want in my fucking bubble get the fuck outta here with your bullshit walk away. Don’t even come near me. I don’t give a fuck if my feelings are hurt because of the red flag is red piece the fuck out it’s just a matter of time that the healing journey will start to be a routine journey. I had to really take a time the time to do my shadow work but Damn life is funny real funny ha ha ha that type of funny but bump that shit. A little black cloud hanging over me I’ll see the rainbows in it every once in a while the other night I didn’t even see a moon in the entire sky. What’s that all about OK my real problem is my friend died and I actually miss him and I didn’t get a chance to mourn him properly Because the trauma bond that then formed they hated him and I never did. I never saw that side of him the side where I could hate him call the PD today just to confirm that he’s really gone three weeks later and I still wasn’t sure he’s gone so unfortunate cause he was Amazing not my type in like a relationship, but he was an amazing friend. I loved picking his brain, his intellect was just on point to just what I needed at that time and I’m sure he felt the same for me although he flirted with me the whole time why does this hurt I saw black Crow today was that you? There’s always two this feeling sucks so good though in time time heals all wounds, the fucking time of illusion, but it is true time heals all wounds. Woo hoo Mental Health is whack licious Mental licious hellacious minacious fuck y’all, mama Chinois piece of shit growing gnosis Just making up words here because I can I need to just take a chance take a chance at somebody real I’m ready for real. I’m ready to just be a family and enjoy each other‘s company yeah why am I hot mess? Why was I doing so good on this healing journey and then boom bye-bye Jason And then boom bye-bye trauma Bond and then boom. My mama told me to block you and I love you. I love her too. The children shouldn’t have to suffer, but yet they do good luck over there into my new child. I hope you can hear me through telepathy that’s why I was trying to teach you that the other night to try and listen to me. I hope you hear me. I love you, baby girl. I’m forever your mama just says I’m forever my child’s mama it is you that I’ll miss the most peace and aloha.
