[GOTHIC ALTERNATIVE METAL][SYMPHONIC ROCK][MELANCHOLIC][ANGUISH][SELF-REPROACH][EUPHORIC DARKNESS] [START] [INTRO] [INSTRUMENTAL – MOURNFUL GRAND PIANO] [STRINGS – DISTANT, ETHEREAL] [ATMOSPHERE – INTIMATE, HAUNTING] [VERSE 1] [VOCAL – DEEP MALE BARITONE, WEARY, INTIMATE] [PIANO – DELICATE MINOR ARPEGGIOS] [STRINGS – SOFT SUSTAINED UNDERTONES] [GUITAR – CLEAN, DISTANT] [DRUMS – RESTRAINED, GRADUAL ENTRANCE] I can remember feeling different, Before I learned to hate myself. I can remember being happy Before I learned to wait for hell. And every time I swear I'll change, I hear the doubt before the words. I know exactly what I'm doing, I know exactly what I've earned. How can I want so badly To be somebody else, When every promise that I make Becomes another one I've failed? I wish that I could love you Without hating who I am. But how can I give you happiness, When mine dies in my hands? [CHORUS] [VOCAL – SOARING BARITONE, MOURNFUL, RESTRAINED GRIT] [PIANO – CONTINUOUS MELODIC FOUNDATION] [STRINGS – SWEEPING, WIDENING] [GUITARS – HEAVY SUSTAINED CHORDS] [BASS – DEEP, RESONANT] [DRUMS – FULL, DELIBERATE PULSE] [DYNAMICS – NATURAL EXPANSION, NO ABRUPT SHIFT] I don't know how to make it stop, Or how much more of me I'll lose. I'm everything I never wanted, And everything I can't undo. If I could see myself through your eyes, Would I find something worth saving? Or in your gaze would I find Only a man worth castigating? [VERSE 2] [VOCAL – DEEP BARITONE, BITTER, EXHAUSTED] [PIANO – MOURNFUL, PROMINENT] [GUITAR – CLEAN ARPEGGIOS, DISTORTED UNDERTONES] [STRINGS – LOW CELLOS, GROWING TENSION] [DRUMS – CONTROLLED, HEAVY] [ATMOSPHERE – DARKER, INCREASING DENSITY] I can't remember the last time I felt at peace inside my head. Even the moments I should cherish Are filled with quiet sparks of dread. I hate the way I lose my temper, And how the guilt comes afterward. I tell myself I'll be more careful, Knowing the lie behind the words. I wish that I could take back The years I've spent this way. The things I've said in moments of anger Are the things that always stay. And when the day is finally over, There's nowhere I can hide. I have to live with every memory Of The Man I Am inside. [CHORUS] [VOCAL – POWERFUL MELODIC BARITONE, ANGUISHED] [GUITARS – WIDE DISTORTED CHORDS] [STRINGS – FULL ORCHESTRAL SWELLS] [PIANO – MELODIC UNDERCURRENT] [DRUMS – HEAVY ORGANIC GROOVE] [HARMONIES – SUBTLE, HAUNTING] [DYNAMICS – BROADER THAN FIRST CHORUS] I don't know how to make it stop, Or how much more of me I'll lose. I'm everything I never wanted, And everything I can't undo. If I could see myself through your eyes, Would I find something worth saving? Or in your gaze would I find Only a man worth castigating? [BRIDGE] [VOCAL – EXPOSED, FRAGILE, NEAR-WHISPER TO ACHING MELODY] [PIANO – SPARSE, ISOLATED NOTES] [STRINGS – LOW SUSTAINED CELLO, SLOW SWELL] [GUITARS – FADE OUT] [DRUMS – FADE TO SILENCE] [DYNAMICS – GRADUAL COLLAPSE] [ENDING – BARE VOCAL, LINGERING SILENCE] Sometimes I wonder what it's like To wake without this weight. To look into the mirror And not turn my eyes away. I've spent so long just holding on, I don't remember why. And every joy I have in this world Falls further from me every night. I never thought I'd come to this, So tired of being me. The things I contemplate at night, Scary ways to be free. [FINAL CHORUS] [VOCAL – SOARING MALE BARITONE, RAW EMOTIONAL BELTING] [ORCHESTRA – FULL SYMPHONIC EXPANSION] [STRINGS – SOARING VIOLINS, POWERFUL CELLOS] [GUITARS – MASSIVE DISTORTED CHORDS, SUSTAINED POWER] [BASS – DEEP, RESONANT, POWERFUL] [DRUMS – FULL LIVE KIT, CRASHING CYMBALS] [PIANO – DRIVING MELODIC FOUNDATION] [HARMONIES – WIDE, ETHEREAL, LAYERED] [DYNAMICS – CONTINUOUS EMOTIONAL ESCALATION] [FINAL LINES – ASCENDING VOCAL INTENSITY, GRADUAL INSTRUMENTAL DECRESCENDO] [RESOLUTION – UNANSWERED, MOURNFUL] I don't know how to make it stop, Or how much more of me I'll lose. I'm everything I never wanted, And everything I can't undo. If I could see myself through your eyes, Would I find something worth saving? Or in your gaze would I find Only a man worth castigating? I never wanted you to suffer For the things I couldn't change. I thought that love would make me better, But I keep hurting you the same. And if you knew how much I've hated Every moment I've made you cry, Would you still reach out to hold me, Or finally tell me goodbye? [OUTRO] [INSTRUMENTAL – SOLO GRAND PIANO] [REPRISE – OPENING MELODIC MOTIF] [STRINGS – DISTANT, FADING] [ATMOSPHERE – EMPTY, UNRESOLVED] [SLOW NATURAL DECAY] [END]
