Intro) (Slow, echoing electric guitar. The sound of a phone vibrating on a table, ignored.) Yeah... I saw you today. Down on the corner of the street. You didn't see me, but I saw everything. (Verse 1) I was down the street when I ran into you with someone new Standing in the sunlight, doing things we used to do Your infinite, lovesick wife, paranoia by your side Kissing you and making out, with nowhere left to hide Every single second that you guys got, it was pure And it hit me like a physical wave I couldn't cure I get it. Look, I get it. I treated you so wrong I became the tragic villain in your healing song I got dramatic, over-mad, and threw a bitter fit Just because you blew my phone up, trying to fix it. (Verse 2) I knew you were in a deep panic, shaking at the core Because of the screen I left you with outside your door I typed out: "I need to be honest with you for a second" And let it sit like a weapon that you didn't see coming Left you to overthink every possible mistake Every word you ever said, every breath you had to take You were drowning in the silence, staring at the blue Texting me in terror, asking: “Am I losing you?” (Pre-Chorus) And instead of throwing you a line to pull you back to shore I wanted to inflict a pain you couldn't ignore I left a toxic black plague in the form of a text response A digital infection satisfying what my ego wants I sent the words: "Yes. I’ll explain everything in person." Then turned my phone face down and let the nightmare worsen. (Chorus) Now it’s been months of deep regret, months of absolute shame I hid behind a massive lie and put it on your name I lied and said I never loved you, swore it wasn't real Because Teddy was dictating every single thing I feel Teddy pulled the strings, mapping out our love's design While I actually loved you, Trauma, wished that you were mine I protected you like you were my whole entire life Had sleepless nights worrying if you'd survive the strife Then I had the absolute audacity to say That I never loved you as I walked away. (Verse 3) I understand I’m just a toxic black plague to your chest A sickness in your history, a ghost that you possessed You don’t deserve to have me dragging down your heels anymore I’m the wreckage that you left behind upon the ocean floor And I get it if you don't like me, I get it if you freeze Even when you texted me, trying to bring me peace Saying "I forgive you, I forgive you," letting mercy shine I ignored it. I completely ignored it every single time. My deep regret turned into an anxious, suffocating wall Terrified you hate me now, terrified to call. (Bridge) But honestly? I think you should. You owe me nothing less. You don’t need me anymore, you crawled out of the mess. If you hate me, let it burn, you actually need to hold that grudge Because I am a criminal and history is my judge The worst thing I ever did—the part that tears my throat— Is that I only told a half-story when I cut the boat I didn’t tell the full reason why I chose to pack and break I just laid out all the excuses my twisted mind could make Something a person who truly loved you wouldn't do I broke your trust and ran away when winter overthrew. (Verse 4) I left you when you were at your absolute worst mental state Watched your health take a heavy toll and left you to your fate I know it wasn’t right to abandon you in the dark To leave you in the ashes without a single spark But I’m looking back now and there is nothing left to say Except that haunting memory that refuses to decay I remember the day I threw all our love in the trash Decided it was failed, let the whole kingdom crash And I put the blame on you for having issues in your head To cover up the massive addiction that I had instead. (Refrain) Every time you had a crisis, I just stood and watched you spin Like a spectator viewing the disaster I was in I told you to "Calm down, everything will be alright" But I knew I made it worse the minute the words took flight And then you finally snapped, texted through the pain: "Stop telling me to calm down when I'm freezing in the rain! Stop telling me to calm down in the middle of an attack!" And I got so dramatic, and I fought you right back. I screamed some awful things that I still didn't mean Like that "I didn't love you" line that cuts so deep and clean... But I love you deeply, Trauma. I always did. (Outro) But I see you down the street now. With your infinite, lovesick wife. Making out in the open. Living a beautiful life. I’m just the toxic plague you had to survive. I’ll stay down the street. Where the half-stories hide. (The guitar fades out into a long, flatline synth tone)
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