Lyrics ©2025 Ed Rendum (@edrendum) All Rights Reserved =============================== I saw Santa dumpster-diving behind the mall last night, He got stuck with his round belly, it wasn't a pretty sight... He was kicking, he was screaming, he was yelling: "Someone help!" "Pull me out and do it quickly, I can't do it by myself!" People laughed as they were staring when the cops arrived on scene, As they pulled, off came his trousers, showing boxers Christmas green... Then out of Santa's trousers' pocket fell a used meth pipe, People gasped and stared, they didn't think he was the type... The cops took Santa off to jail... It was a sorry sight to see... We all protested to no avail... Will there be presents under the tree? Two cops grabbed Santa's legs and pulled hard as a pair, And he popped out the dumpster with a nasty swear... His eyes looked wild, He spat at a child! He started screaming that it wasn't fair... I saw Santa so pissed, When he tried to resist, Old saint Nick he got chased, And eventually got tazed... The cops took Santa off to jail... It was a sorry sight to see... We all protested to no avail... Will there be presents under the tree?
