She's got a girlfriend, that's unfortunate I'm not religious but I'm praying on it I swear I'm nice but she's making me evil The way she says my name should be illegal She walks in wearing platform boots Like she's got nothing left to prove And I forget every clever thing I practiced in my room I don't wanna be dramatic But if she asked I'd move to Paris Get a cat, split rent, get matching tattoos Baby, that's embarrassing 'Cause every time she leans in close My common sense just packs and goes She's got me kicking my feet in the passenger seat Like a teenager in a movie scene Lip gloss stain on a coffee cup One little smile and I'm falling apart God, it's pathetic, I know, I know But she looks at me and suddenly Every other girl in the room disappears And I'm right back at the start My friends are sick of hearing it They're like, "Girl, can we get over this?" And I'm like, "Probably," then she posts a picture And there goes my progress She likes old bands and dirty martinis Knows exactly how to make me needy Says "goodnight" with a heart at the end Then leaves me reading it repeatedly She's got me acting like a fool Checking my phone like it's breaking news She's got me kicking my feet in the passenger seat Like a teenager in a movie scene Lip gloss stain on a coffee cup One little smile and I'm falling apart If she kissed me once I'd never shut up about it Write six albums, twelve poems And a minor economic about it So if anybody asks what's wrong Tell 'em nothing, just another song About a girl with her hand on my waist And a permanent spot in my brain It's getting old but somehow it feels new Every single day She's got a girlfriend, that's unfortunate But if they break up, hypothetically... I've already got our wedding venue picked out Purely academically.
