[Song: Bad TP, V2] [intro] TP, TP, TP, TP [first verse] Morning mission to the powder room To find a roll that ain’t yet been ruined Endless ribbons have been scattered A thousand plies lie in tatters This criminal act makes no sense And you ain’t concealing evidence Trying to wipe, a captive audience Nothing left here to dispense [pre-chorus] I tried to keep it tidy With a ply or three But you unraveled chaos Rolling endlessly [chorus] That’s just TP Stickin’ to my shoe Trailin’ like a streamer Out the whole washroom You were acting spastic I’m cleaning up my assets ‘Cuz nobody clings like you-oo-ooh (you-oo-oo) Yeah, now that TP is you [second verse] Your kitten belly’s so inviting But claws teeth and blood and biting Chasing mice at three A.M. Except the mice are my toes, and I like them You’re pushing glasses off my desk And testing gravity I guess I suppose you can’t help yourself I’ve no breakables left on my shelves [pre-chorus] Hiding behind shower curtains Play-attackin’ without warnin’ Seven ounces of destruction That somewhat poorly follows instructions [chorus] That’s just TP Attackin’ my toes Make another litterbox Out of my clothes I’ll never be a classic Cleaning up my assets ‘cuz nobody clings like You-oo-oo (you-oo-oo) Yeah, now that TP is you [bridge] (La-la-la-la) Should've seen the signs before (Oh-oh-oh-oh) Anticipated confetti on my bathroom floor If it fits, you sits in every box Paws and claws extended under if the door is locked (La-la-la-la) Guess I’ll name you after your obsession (oh-oh-oh-oh) As I safely store my breakable possessions Toilet paper’s like kitten cocaine And now he knows …that TP is his name… [chorus] That’s just TP Stickin’ to my shoe Demandin’ attention While I’m watching the news Criminally fantastic Vertically gymnastic ‘cuz nobody claws like You-oo-oo (you-oo-oo) Yeah, now that TP is you [outro] That’s my TP Sleepin’ on my shoes Dancing on my keyboard And playing poetry muse I’m gonna be OK Bought myself a bid ay ‘cuz nobody clings like You-oo-oo (you-oo-oo) Yeah, that TP is you [fade] TP, TP, TP, TP Ooh, that TP It’s you It’s true
