[Verse 1] Headed off to rehab on the day that Amy died I passed out in the back seat when they took me for the ride They stopped the car said here you are and there I was I was in rehab [Verse 2] They handed me a breathalyzer blew a point four oh That's enough to kill a horse hey buddy don't you know You're lucky to be alive You're lucky you get to go to rehab [Chorus] Well what's so lucky about it What's so lucky about hanging out with 30 dirty smelly guys They're blowing smoke up my ass and even more in my eyes And who are they to call me on my shit and my lies in rehab [Verse 3] Well the monkey's off my back but the circus is still in town Can't stop my racing thoughts they're like a car full of clowns They give me lithium and librium to help keep me down in rehab [Verse 4] I came here to stop drinking now they got me on drugs I think it's some kind of test to see what I'm made of Or it's a capitalist plot I heard that Pfizer bought this rehab [Chorus] Well what's so crazy about that What's so crazy about investing in drugs, rehabs too Even I can see the irony and I used to sniff glue Well fuck 'em up and fix 'em we don't even have to trick 'em into rehab [Verse 5] They tell me when I drank it was a self-medicate But I think it's 'cause my mother made me finish my plate Speaking of food I admit the food's pretty great in this rehab [Verse 6] They're telling me be here now but now that's there and then They say stay in the moment somebody asks when They say just for today you can choose to stay in rehab [Chorus] Well who are they to tell me I mean this counselor well if you ask me he's talking out of his butt I know he means well but all I can say is say what? When he says if you work it then you're worth it, if you're worth it then you've earned it and if you've earned it then you deserve a life Yeah a life in rehab [Verse 7] Well I thought I'd hit my bottom but I found a trap door I climbed down through some shit to a still lower floor I'm deep in the vagina of a tunnel straight to China in rehab [Verse 8] Oh yeah I'm way down deep there's little light at this depth I'm in a giant hole with all these secrets I kept And the elevator's broken they say I've got to use the steps in rehab [Chorus] What am I talking about I'm talking 'bout how hurt people hurt people and I hurt myself They say one day at a time put the rest on a shelf But I got so much shit on this shelf my shelf is broken It's falling down around me and I find myself choking in rehab [Verse 9] Well they say stick with the winners son Well don't stick with me I'm a boozer and a loser and half out of my tree They say it's Stinkin' Thinkin' but I just don't want to be in rehab [Verse 10] I checked into rehab on the day that Amy died She said no no no, and now I see why Cause I still want to drink and you can't drink inside of rehab [Chorus] What's so crazy 'bout that? I know it's crazy but Amy I love you, I don't disrespect you Some people just don't get it but I've been there and I get you You made the choice to check out Me too, get me the heck out of this rehab
