Oh my gods, Rissa, look at her. Her chest is enormous. And her ass... How does she even sit in those leather pants? And Tazar's staring again. Ugh. Why is he always staring at women like that? Because he's a half-orc. Obviously. [Verse 1] I like big butts and big tits too You skinny-lovin' bastards know it’s true When a lady walks in with a tiny little waist And enough curves to command the place I get sprung Tankard drops when she swings along Whole damn tavern starts singing songs Deep in the jeans she's wearin' Gods help me I just keep starin' Oh baby I wanna know ya Buy you dinner Maybe show ya My buddies try to warn me But those curves got Tazar feelin' horny I've seen nobles I've seen queens I've seen every shape in between But I'm tired of fashion scrolls sayin' Everybody gotta look the same thing Hell no That ain't right Give me a woman built to hold me tight So fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Does your sweetheart got the goods? (Hell yeah!) Tell her shake it Celebrate it Every race gets appreciated [Chorus] Elf got curves~ Dwarf got curves~ Tiefling got curves~ Dragonborn got curves~ Little in the middle~ But she moves like trouble~ Baby's got the gift~ Baby's got the gift~ And she knows just how to work it~ [Verse 2] I like 'em thick, and I like 'em tall A skinny little wizard ain't for me at all You can keep your runway elven models Give me a girl who can drain ten bottles I want a woman with some muscle mass A gorgeous goliath with a mountain-class... assets A drow assassin in a velvet gown Turning the whole Underdark upside down My homeboys think I’ve lost my mind When a tortle walks past with a round behind But she's safe from the daggers and the arrows too With a shield on her front and a shell on the back view! I ain’t talking 'bout starvation Give me that dwarf federation! She’s got the strength to swing a battleaxe And enough curves to pay double tax So if you’re built with a lot of weight Don't let no high-elf discriminate To the halflings, the orcs, and the firbolg crews Tazar’s buying drinks, so you cannot lose! So fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Do you want a girl with some power? (Hell yeah!) Then tell her lift it! Don't shift it! Even the big girls got the gift-ed! [Chorus] Goliath got curves~ Orc got curves~ Firbolg got curves~ Halfling got curves~ Little in the middle~ But she moves like trouble~ Baby's got the gift~ Baby's got the gift~ And she knows just how to work it~ [Bridge] Tazar's Snag don't Tazar's Snag don't Tazar's Snag don't want none Unless you got Big! Tits! HUN! [Verse 3] You can do side bends or situps But please don't lose those hips, love' Cause your tavern-keeper got a lot of meat And she's serving up a legendary treat Some bards say that a flat sheet’s fine But I like an organic curved line So to all the ladies across the realms From the shining spires to the under-elms If you've got the curves and you know you're fine Come sit at Tazar's table and share some wine! [Outro] Yeah, baby. Tazar likes them thick. Every race. Every class. If you got the goods, shake 'em. [Fades out with heavy tavern laughter and tankards slamming] Baby got back...
