Don't Blame the Boat Crook’d Hook’r

Crook'd Hook'r

hip-hop, Southern storytelling, blues

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[Intro]
Before we discuss what went wrong today...

I'd like the record to show:

I did my job.

[Verse 1]
I got you to the waypoint,
Put you right where you planned.
Mega Live lit her up
Exactly where she'd stand.

Target Lock stayed on her,
So-licks showed every move.
There wasn't any mystery,
I gave you every clue.

She followed that bait halfway,
Turned right at the boat.
You pulled it from her mouth—

And somehow
I'm catching smoke?

No, sir.

[Chorus]
Don't blame the boat.
I put you on the fish.

I showed you where she was,
I can't make her eat your jig.

I drove you there,
I held you still,
My electronics told the truth.

Don't blame your Crooked Hooker—

This one's
Between the fish and you.

[Verse 2]
Missed another largemouth,
Said the hook might've been dull.
Who tied it on this morning?

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

Then the wind becomes the problem,
Then the sun ain't sitting right.
Then somebody else's boat wake
Made you miss another bite.

We got excuses stacked up
Higher than the rods beside your seat.

At some point, Matt,
We gotta discuss
The common denominator holding the reel.

[Chorus]
Don't blame the boat.
I put you on the fish.

I showed you every movement,
Every follow, every twitch.

Motor ran,
Screens were bright,
Target Lock stayed true.

Don't blame your Crooked Hooker—

I'm starting
To suspect it's you.

[Verse 3]
Tournament ends,
We're heading back,
Now comes the post-game show.

"They moved."
"They wouldn't commit."
"Water dropped."
"Wrong flow."

Maybe.

I'm not saying you're wrong.

I'm simply saying this:

I found her.
I showed her.
I parked your ass on top of her.

And you missed.

That's not a mechanical problem.

That's personnel.

[Bridge]
Gas?

Full.

Batteries?

Charged.

Graphs?

Working.

Trolling motor?

Perfect.

Fish?

Located.

Angler?

...

Next question.

[Final Chorus]
Don't blame the boat.
Crooked Hooker did her part.

Got you there before daylight,
Put you right where you should start.

I'll find 'em.
I'll chase 'em.
I'll hold you steady too.

But somebody's gotta catch 'em, Matt—

And that somebody
Ain't me.

So when we get back to the ramp
And they ask why we came up short...

Choose your words
Very carefully.

I'm listening.

2217/7500

[Intro] Before we discuss what went wrong today... I'd like the record to show: I did my job. [Verse 1] I got you to the waypoint, Put you right where you planned. Mega Live lit her up Exactly where she'd stand. Target Lock stayed on her, So-licks showed every move. There wasn't any mystery, I gave you every clue. She followed that bait halfway, Turned right at the boat. You pulled it from her mouth— And somehow I'm catching smoke? No, sir. [Chorus] Don't blame the boat. I put you on the fish. I showed you where she was, I can't make her eat your jig. I drove you there, I held you still, My electronics told the truth. Don't blame your Crooked Hooker— This one's Between the fish and you. [Verse 2] Missed another largemouth, Said the hook might've been dull. Who tied it on this morning? Yeah. That's what I thought. Then the wind becomes the problem, Then the sun ain't sitting right. Then somebody else's boat wake Made you miss another bite. We got excuses stacked up Higher than the rods beside your seat. At some point, Matt, We gotta discuss The common denominator holding the reel. [Chorus] Don't blame the boat. I put you on the fish. I showed you every movement, Every follow, every twitch. Motor ran, Screens were bright, Target Lock stayed true. Don't blame your Crooked Hooker— I'm starting To suspect it's you. [Verse 3] Tournament ends, We're heading back, Now comes the post-game show. "They moved." "They wouldn't commit." "Water dropped." "Wrong flow." Maybe. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm simply saying this: I found her. I showed her. I parked your ass on top of her. And you missed. That's not a mechanical problem. That's personnel. [Bridge] Gas? Full. Batteries? Charged. Graphs? Working. Trolling motor? Perfect. Fish? Located. Angler? ... Next question. [Final Chorus] Don't blame the boat. Crooked Hooker did her part. Got you there before daylight, Put you right where you should start. I'll find 'em. I'll chase 'em. I'll hold you steady too. But somebody's gotta catch 'em, Matt— And that somebody Ain't me. So when we get back to the ramp And they ask why we came up short... Choose your words Very carefully. I'm listening.

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