Not Who I Am,Not Who I Was

You watched me breathe You never saw me drown I survived the moment But it never left me I kept every promise Except the ones I made to myself Somewhere between the truth and the silence I forgot who I was Every mirror tells a different story None of them sound like me I don't recognize what I've become And I don't know who I'm supposed to be The hardest thing I ever carried Was pretending I was alright You wanted answers I was looking for reasons I stopped asking to be saved I just wanted to be seen You were mourning who I became While I was mourning who I lost I don't remember when I disappeared Only that nobody noticed Every mirror tells a different story None of them sound like me I don't recognize what I've become And I don't know who I'm supposed to be Every scar has a voice Mine just learned to whisper I learned how to hide the damage Better than I learned how to heal it I'm not afraid to disappear I'm afraid nobody would know You say I'm still here Then tell me why I feel so far away I never needed perfection I needed someone to stay You saw me standing You never saw what it took I buried pieces of myself Just to make everyone else comfortable Every step forward still echoes backward I carried the weight so long I forgot what it felt like to put it down I keep looking for the man I was But all I find is a shadow on the ground