[bright fingerpicked acoustic guitar arpeggio] [male spoken word narrative] Thursday, I have a softball championship game for Bryn. I gotta be there at 4:45. I pull into the campground at like 3:45. I have to like blitz unload, and like get everything necessary out and in the cabin, get the AC hooked up so that like everything doesn't melt. I hear this BOOM! like pretty far in the distance. I'm like, HOLY SHIT, that was not a legal firework, 'cause we're in like a state forest area where you can't have like any fireworks really other than maybe like sparklers. I hear this boom and Bryn looks at me and I look at her and she's like, whoa and I was like, yeah, that was definitely not a legal firework. So I blitz, get her to the championship game, come back about 10:30 at night... finish unloading the unnecessary, like the un-crucial stuff. Sitting on the fucking picnic table smoking a cigar, and the hardcore ranger comes by, like the one that can actually, like he walks around with a gun and a vest and like can arrest you and investigate you and like, file you know, federal charges and shit like that. He recognized me, I know him. He's like, Tyler, what are you doing man? I was like, hey Dan, what's up? Not you, Greens... different Dan. He comes over, he's like, did you hear any loud explosions tonight around 6 o'clock? And I was like, oh no, I heard like one in the distance before I left but I had to get to a softball game, I was telling him about that, like I just got back. He's like, well I need to find these people. He's like, there was one... someone threw an explosive into the campsite up on the hill. Like someone threw an explosive out of the car into a campsite. Like a... basically the same boom but it was a lot closer so it was like crazy. I was like, I'm sorry dude, I haven't been around, like I'll keep an eye out. He's like yeah, just keep an eye out 'cause you got six little girls here, I don't want them throwing it into your... I was like, alright bro, I appreciate the heads up... So next morning he comes around, I was like, did you find anything??? He's like, yeah, I was out early this morning. There was a car driving around the campground, like listen, there's a circle in the campground that all the kids are riding like their scooters and their bikes and like, there's tons of kids everywhere. He's like, yeah, I found a pipe bomb. And I'm like, what? Um, a what now? He's like, yeah, I found tubing and shrapnel. He's like, definitely keep your eye out. I was like, that's like a terrorist attack!? He's like, yeah, I'm pissed, like I'm gonna find these motherfuckers. And I was like, okay bro, let me know if I can help, like I'll keep an eye. I was like, what vehicle? He's like, no one has seen the vehicle, like we don't have any eyewitnesses, just the reports of the explosions. And I'm like, holy fuck, like a car rolling around the campground throwing pipe bombs, like actual PVC PIPE with shrapnel in it into people's campsites... So I basically couldn't enjoy the rest of my vacation 'cause I got all these little girls I'm freaking out worrying about... So I would call that a terrorist attack, would you not?
