[Intro] Day shift. Phones lit. Princeton Urology—clocked in. [Verse 1] It’s broad daylight, clinic humming, coffee in the air, Charts are flying, scrubs are drying, we’re moving everywhere. Then the transfer line rings like it’s got a VIP pass, And Brittany, our PA, answers cool, calm, class. They say, “We got a patient—UTI and a stone, Obstructing hard, needs a bed, needs you to take them home.” Brittany pauses—tone polite, but you can hear the steel, “Before we talk transfer… tell me what’s the deal.” [Pre-Chorus] “Hold up—you’re calling from Beckley in the middle of the day? And you’re telling me you can’t manage? Help me understand, okay.” They start to spin it, “We just… thought you’d be the move,” She goes, “Quick question: don’t you have a urologist too?” [Chorus] We won’t take your patient! (No, no!) You’ve got a urologist—do your job, don’t faint! We won’t take your patient! (No way!) We’re not your overflow for a paperwork day. We’re here to serve—when it’s right, when it’s fair, But if you’ve got the coverage—then you handle care. We won’t take your patient! (That’s it!) Princeton’s here to help—just not to babysit. [Verse 2] They say, “But it’s complicated,” she’s like, “So are we, But complicated isn’t code for ‘send it out for free.’” UTI plus obstructing stone—yeah, that can turn real fast, But you’ve got a specialist—so why are you trying to pass? She’s not rude, she’s not loud, she’s just firm and clear, “Start antibiotics, imaging, keep the patient near. Call your urologist now—this is literally their lane, Decompress if needed, don’t delay, don’t play the blame game.” [Pre-Chorus 2] They try the scare line, “Well, EMTALA…,” she won’t bite, She goes, “EMTALA’s for emergencies and access—yes, you’re right. But you’ve got the resource there—so use it where you stand, We’re not yelling ‘violation’—we’re just saying: make a plan.” [Chorus] We won’t take your patient! (No, no!) You’ve got a urologist—do your job, don’t faint! We won’t take your patient! (No way!) We’re not your overflow for a paperwork day. We’re here to serve—when it’s right, when it’s fair, But if you’ve got the coverage—then you handle care. We won’t take your patient! (That’s it!) Princeton’s here to help—just not to babysit. [Bridge] (half-time, big build) Listen— If the patient’s crashing, if there’s no one on call, If you truly need a lifeline—then we answer that call. Princeton Urology, Princeton Anesthesia—ready to go, When it’s the right transfer, we’re the first to say “let’s roll.” But daylight with coverage? That’s not a rescue scene, That’s a handoff attempt dressed up in “urgent” and “serene.” So Brittany holds the line—professional, steady, strong, Because patient care is serious… and shortcuts are wrong. [Verse 3] She ends with grace, “I’m rooting for them—get it done today. Stent, drain, treat infection, don’t let it slip away. If your urologist says you truly can’t provide, Have them call our attending—doc to doc, we’ll decide.” And the clinic keeps moving, like nothing even changed, Just one more phone call in a world that’s rearranged. But behind the scenes we know—standards matter too, So we protect the patient… and the system… and the truth. [Final Chorus] We won’t take your patient! (No, no!) You’ve got a urologist—do your job, don’t faint! We won’t take your patient! (No way!) We’re not your overflow for a paperwork day. We’re here to serve—when it’s right, when it’s fair, But if you’ve got the coverage—then you handle care. We won’t take your patient! (That’s it!) Princeton’s here to help—just not to babysit. (chant) We won’t take! We won’t take! (chant) Call your uro—do it straight! [Outro] Day shift rolls on… Brittany hangs up. Princeton stays ready.
