Let Them Eat Cake

Let Them Eat Cake 🎹 (Piano vamp with a sleazy jazz swing, golden curtains part) TRUMP-ETTE (a Marie/Donald hybrid, hair powdered, tie too long): 🎵 Oh my dears, the shelves are bare, the gas is gone, you’re stuck… 🎵 But why not order DoorDash cake? If you still have a buck! 🎵 I never said those nasty words, but let’s not quibble, hun… 🎵 There’s plenty left for billionaires—we’re having SO much fun! ⸻ 🎺 (Horn section blasts as waiters in MAGA hats twirl sparklers) CHORUS (Trump-ette & feathered dancers): 🎵 Let them eat cake! (if they have bread) 🎵 And gold-leaf frosting on their debt instead! 🎵 If the factories all burn down, 🎵 We’ll just buy cupcakes from Mar-a-Lago town! ⸻ 🎤 (Breakdown: Trump-ette pacing like a stand-up comic) TRUMP-ETTE (spoken): 💄 “Listen folks—nobody eats cake better than me, believe me. The best cake. Beautiful cake. Tremendous cake. And bread? Bread is overrated. Gluten-free is HUGE right now!” ⸻ 🎶 (Backup dancers do a Rockettes-style kickline holding giant baguettes) ⸻ BRIDGE (mock dramatic): 🎵 The people cry for insulin, for rent relief, for jobs… 🎵 But darling, we’ve got cronies to reward and yachts to rob! ⸻ 🎷 (Sax solo as Trump-ette tosses out Hershey’s Kisses like campaign swag) ⸻ CHORUS (key change, crowd clapping along): 🎵 Let them eat cake! (if they have bread) 🎵 And sprinkle tariffs on their heads instead! 🎵 When the protests hit Fifth Avenue, 🎵 We’ll just charge admission for the view! ⸻ 🎹 (Final flourish, Trump-ette blows kisses, dancers hold up “BIG BEAUTIFUL CAKE” sign) TRUMP-ETTE (cooing): 🎵 So if you’re feeling hungry, here’s what I said… 🎵 Let them eat cake (if they have bread)! ⸻