[Intro — Robotic voice, dead serious] Ladies and gentlemen… I have an announcement. I am NOT… A singer. [Pause] WAABOO! [Beat kicks in] [Verse 1 — Male voice, sarcastic] I can't hit a note, I can't hold a tune, I sound like a robot exploding on the moon. My voice goes left when the melody goes right, But I own the microphone tonight! I got no training, I got no plan, I'm a funky little mushroom in a one-man band. You want perfection? Wrong address! I bring confusion in a glittery dress! [Pre-Drop — Whispered] Can you sing? NO! Can you dance? MAYBE! Can you shut up? NEVER! [DROP — Explosive alien electro house] I'M NOT A SINGER! I'M A FREQUENCY! I'M NOT A SINGER! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! WAABOO! WAABOO! MAKE THE MUSHROOM BOOM! CLICK-CLACK! CLICK-CLACK! SHAKE YOUR PLANET OUT OF TUNE! I'M NOT A SINGER! I'M A MUSICAL DISASTER! NO TALENT! MORE BASS! MAKE THE MADNESS GO FASTER! [Post-Drop — Chopped, distorted vocals] La-la-la—ERROR! Do-do-do—DESTROY! Bee-boo-bop! WHO GAVE THIS MUSHROOM A VOICE?! [Verse 2 — Playful, cocky] The sound engineer is hiding in the hall, The DJ's praying for a power failure call. My neighbors filed a complaint with Mars, But I'm still making music for the dancing stars! I sing like thunder in a broken machine, The weirdest superstar you've ever seen. You call it noise, I call it art, I've got zero notes and a radioactive heart! [Breakdown — Fake opera meets alien voice] Oooooooh… Aaaaaaaah… I have no idea what key I'm in… [Whisper] Is this music? [Beat stops] IT IS NOW! [Build-Up — Crowd chants] WHO'S THE SINGER? NOT ME! WHO'S THE WEIRDO? THAT'S ME! WHO'S GOT THE BEAT? DJ CHAMPIGNON! WAABOO! WAABOO! THREE, TWO, ONE… MUSHROOM! [Final Drop — Maximum galactic madness] I'M NOT A SINGER! I'M A GALACTIC GLITCH! I'M NOT A SINGER! I'M THE KING OF THE SWITCH! CLICK-CLACK! WAABOO! LET THE UNIVERSE SHAKE! I CAN'T SING FOR NOTHING… BUT I'M MAKING YOUR PLANET BREAK! NO VOICE! NO RULES! NO SHAME! REMEMBER THE MUSHROOM! FORGET MY NAME! [Outro — Calm robotic voice] Thank you for listening. Please do not ask for an encore. [Beat returns for one final hit] WAABOOOOOOO!!!
