Et Tu, Timeline?

[Intro – vinyl crackle, lyre plucks, muted trumpet, glitch rewind] Okay— Time says it’s 44 BC. My watch says… error. Classic. [Verse 1 – talk-rap swing, upright bass + jazz piano] Dropped my TARDIS in a marble street Sandals everywhere, no Uber, no beat Guy in a toga says “Hail, my friend!” I say “Nice fit, bro—when does Wi-Fi end?” There he is, crown of laurel leaf Big Julius C, tall résumé Crossed the Rubicon, made history flex Didn’t cross the Senate—bad next step [Pre-Chorus – half-sung, brass build, frame drum taps] They say “Beware the Ides,” sounds ominous, right? I set a reminder—forgot to hit “snooze tonight” Progress bar loading, fate buffering slow History’s screaming “Don’t go, don’t go!” [Chorus – catchy, comedic, call-and-response] Et tu, timeline? Et tu? I blink once and the future’s through One small stab for a bunch of men One giant plot twist for the Roman trend Hey! Julius, read the room! When friends say “meeting,” check the doom Et tu, timeline? Et tu? I time-hop once—now I’m in a meme or two [Verse 2 – faster rap, glitch hats, trumpet hits] Forum buzzing like a comment thread Bread and circuses, dopamine fed Invented roads that still don’t quit But forgot the part where knives don’t fit Senate claps like a slow jazz jam I hear footsteps—this is not the plan Brutus smiling like “Trust me, pal” That smile says “Spoilers,” that’s not legal now [Pre-Chorus – mock wisdom, choir hum + lyre] Empires rise on stone and pride Then trip on egos wearing inside Write it in Latin, carve it in gold Still ends with “oops” when the story’s told [Chorus – bigger, gang vocals, glitch drops] Et tu, timeline? Et tu? I watched the patch notes fall right through Built aqueducts, laws, and might Forgot the update called “friends with knives” Hey! Julius, step aside! When fate’s got lag, don’t press “commit” Et tu, timeline? Et tu? Ancient Rome just rage-quit too [Bridge – breakdown, spoken comedy over piano + hand claps] I tried to warn him— But my Latin’s stuck on Duolingo Day Three. “All roads lead to Rome,” they said. Yeah. Including bad decisions. [sudden glitch stop] …Ave? Nah. [Verse 3 – laid-back swing, bass walking, digital bloops] Wrote calendars, named a month real bold “July”—nice flex, still got old Gave us law, debate, dramatic flair Also taught us meetings need better chairs Time traveler lesson, etched in stone: Don’t trust vibes when the knives are known If history’s great but ends too soon That’s just legacy with a pratfall tune [Pre-Chorus – ironic confidence, brass swell] Every era thinks it’s peak design Till tomorrow roasts it, one punchline I’ll tip my hat to the marble stage Then hop three seconds to avoid that page [Final Chorus – full swing, horns + glitch chaos] Et tu, timeline? Et tu? One empire down, déjà vu Big ideas, small human flaws That’s Rome, baby—applause, applause Hey! Traveler, write it clean: Greatness slips on banana peels unseen Et tu, timeline? Et tu? I set the dial—see you in the sequel, Rome 2.0 [Outro – lyre fade, trumpet sigh, tape rewind] History’s wild. Time’s fragile. I’m late again.