[Verse 1] Shirt off, yard shoes on, fuel breath, Saturday dawn. I yank that cord—rrr-ah—first try, grass coughs up last July. [Pre-Chorus] Clippings stick, skin turns stew, gnat choir lands, I hum “pew.” [Chorus] Lawnmower baptism—spray that sin, green confetti on my chin. If summer wants a sacrifice, hose me down in yard-god spice. [Post-Chorus] Ah—ah—ah—hold the line, cheeks full, smile, I’m fine. [Verse 2] Hit a mound—mystery cake, brown fireworks, holy flake. Neighbor peeks with lemonade, I grin with compost promenade. [Pre-Chorus] Rotor hymn, backyard choir, knees streaked green like altar fire. [Chorus] Lawnmower baptism—sticky grace, dotted freckles, chlorophyll face. If shame says rinse, I say “not yet”— bless this pit with backyard sweat. [Break / Build] (HOA megaphone:) “Keep debris inside your lot!” (Neighbor kid:) “Do a donut!” (crowd:) “Do it—do it!” [Drop] (PA barks:) “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” (Silence—then the rhythm slams back twice as hard.) [Verse 3] Gnome explodes to porcelain snow, sprinkler line begins to blow. Mud geyser hits me head to toe, I tongue a leaf and scream “let’s go.” [Bridge / Rap] Left stripe, right stripe—clean that row, thighs clap, thighs clap—go-go-go. Summer funk from hose to heel, I taste the zip of copper reel. [Verse 4] Satan ant bites—ten-count sting, sun draws halos, wasps take wing. I crown myself with hedge confetti, pose for saints of sweaty petty. [Double Chorus] Lawnmower baptism—spray that sin, green confetti on my chin. If summer wants a sacrifice, hose me down in yard-god spice. Lawnmower baptism—sticky grace, dotted freckles, chlorophyll face. I take a tap to chest—amen— yard-god laughs and starts again. [Tag / Outro] (HOA megaphone:) “Sir, you’re dripping on the sidewalk.” Me: “Same.” Gate creaks. Day keeps grinding.
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