2020 Double Barreled Shotgun: Welcome to My World

Title: “Double-Barreled shotgun” Verse 1: 2020 slammed us like a double-barreled shotgun Pandemic on the left, civic reckoning on the right—no place to run One barrel said “masks and distance, keep the people safe” Other barrel said “accountability, no more hiding your face” I was Chief in Palo Alto when the whole world changed Overnight the job expanded, nothing felt the same We were still first responders but now so much more Infection control, mediators—questions with no answers at the door Pre-Chorus: Officers showing up asking things the manual never said How do we enforce what we don’t understand in our own heads? Fault lines papered over by habit and bravado Exposed in the light—nowhere left to go Chorus: Double-barreled, both sides loaded, nowhere to hide You either lead through the chaos or get swept by the tide Trust was the currency and ours was running low When everything’s uncertain, that’s when leaders show What they’re made of when the ground gives way Double-barreled 2020—survived it day by day Verse 2: George Floyd’s death hit while we were drowning in COVID fear Protests in the streets, my officers’ exhaustion crystal clear How do you keep the peace when you’re the symbol of the pain? How do you enforce the law when trust is circling the drain? Community wanted answers, wanted change, wanted it now My team wanted backup, wanted guidance, wanted to know how I’m standing in the middle trying not to break Leading humans through a crisis—my own humanity at stake Bridge: No playbook for this, no precedent to lean on Just Stanford’s compassion training and trying to stay strong You can’t pour from empty—learned that the hard way Can’t lead through darkness if you’re losing yourself each day So I started box breathing in the parking lot Started being honest when I didn’t have the plot Started saying “I don’t know” instead of faking it through Started leading like a human—that’s what got us through Final Chorus: Double-barreled, both sides loaded, caught in between The hardest year of leading I had ever seen But we didn’t break, we bent and learned to stand Found out what “got your six” means when you’re leading women and men Through a storm that tried to tear it all apart Double-barreled 2020—still got a beating heart Outro: Some years test you, some years break you down 2020 did both—but we’re still around Not because we had the answers or knew what to do But because we stayed human while we made it through