It's 5 o'clock somewhere/....not that I really care/I drink my liquor anytime;anywhere./I'm an adult! An' I love gettin' drunk!/O,yea/I do what I want/and I don't give a fuck/Slam'a quart'a rum an pass out in the sun. "Drinking is fun!" I'm so malnourished from all the corn-mash whiskey/juggs'a moonshine got me feeling all dizzy./I love gettin the spins/passing out/an' playin Frizzbee./I'm always pissing my pants/yea/cuz I keep my kidneys busy. Got arrested again/for punching my friend/he came 2 bail me out'n now we're back guzzling jinn./If you think this all sucks;it totally doesn't./I get hella wasted/then fuck my cousins./Sometimes my aunt with my uncle if we're rage-in'/I once fucked a dog/of no familyall relation. I love getting shit-faced. I love playin drinking games. I love it all! God bless Ethanol! I like to stay up/drinking all night. It's my dream come true/it just feels right I'm never hung-over Cuz I'm always drunk My life's a blur And I love it so much!! So,Fill me up please/an' don't be cheap/my doctors are wrong: I don't have liver disease./thirty beers later,I'm the strongest man alive/I'll beat your kids/And I'll punch your wife!/ I'd do it to mine/but I'm not in their life/don't know where they are/they had to hide. I'm too fun/get drunk/go for a drive/wreck another car/an' somehow survive/legs ain't broke,I run away into the night/don't need another hit-an-run/or more dee you eyes. I told you I'm fun!/I tell no lies!/Let's get fucked up!/An' live our best life! I love getting shit-faced. I love playin drinking games. I love it all! God bless Ethanol! I like to stay up/drinking all night. It's my dream come true/it just feels right I'm never hung-over Cuz I'm always drunk My life's a blur And I love it so much!! (HELL YEAH!) Alcohol—Is my best friend. Every other week/they gotta pump my stomach again. They say I'll die—Oh./yeah-fucking-right(...No way!) My skin is yellow—An' I think it looks nice! God bless Ethanol! I like to stay up/drinking all night. It's my dream come true/it just feels right I'm never hung-over Cuz I'm always drunk My life's a blur And I love it so much!! Haha! Yeah! If you're hearing this song... —It's because I'm dead. I outlined it in my last will and testament. I've been cremated by now... Sprinkle my ashes into yer beverages. An' raise your glasses, This last drink's on me.
