🎸 “Buzzkill in the Bermuda Grass” (Giddy-up and strip down) [Verse 1] Well I fired up the mower just past noon, With a cold one sweatin’ and a country tune. Boots on my feet, ball cap tight, Out to tame that jungle in the summer light. But halfway down the fence I hollered “YEE!” Somethin’ squirmed and buzzed inside my tee. I dropped my beer and did a crazy dance, Tryin’ to save my chest from a stinger in my pants! [Chorus] Now I’m jumpin’ and I’m howlin’ in a wild parade, Tryin’ to shake that bee like a live grenade! Neighbors peekin’ out like “Lord, he’s loose!” But I swear this pain is a damn good excuse! So I’ll make my case, and here’s the news — This never happens when you’re mowin’ in the nude! [Verse 2] I ripped off my shirt like a rodeo clown, Tripped on the hose, went flyin’ down. Got stung on the side and bruised my pride, As the mower rolled off on its own joyride. Why are we wrappin’ up for yardwork pain? It’s hot as hell — we’ve gone insane! God gave us skin and the sun gave tan, So drop those jeans and be a freer man! [Chorus] Yeah I’m shoutin’ from the hedges with my belt undone, Swattin’ at bees while I try to run! If I’d been mowin’ like a birthday suit bandit, That little buzz-bastard never woulda landed! So hear me now, y’all, don’t be prudes — Let’s make a stand… and mow in the nude! [Bridge – Slow and Southern] No more boxers ridin’ high, No more bees makin’ grown men cry. Let your cheeks feel that country air, Nothin’ says freedom like mowin’ bare. [Final Chorus – Big & Loud] Now I’m cruisin’ through the clover with my buns out proud, Singin’ “Sting me now!” to the bees out loud! Got no sleeves, no briefs, just boots and a grin, And the mower’s hummin’ like a mandolin. So grab your hat, lose your threads — it’s true: The best damn mowin’ is done in the nude! [Outro – Spoken over steel guitar] You can keep your Wranglers and your sweat-stained flannel… Me? I’ll be out back, free-ballin’ in the grass. 🌾🐝🎸
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