[epic introduction] [Verse 1] The smell of that laundry detergent Was so intoxicating to me Fresh from the dryer, warm and swirling Like a scented symphony I’d bury my face in folded towels Like treasure from above Who needs roses in a garden When you’ve got that April-fresh love? [Pre-Chorus] Steam rising like a holy ghost From cotton clouds so white I close my eyes, take one deep breath And everything’s alright [Chorus] It’s ambrosia to my soul That Gain detergent smell I spend hours every day Sniffing my blues away so well You can’t stop me, no intervention Could pull me from this heaven Sniffing Tide, Gain, Clorox, and OxyClean I’m chasing fragrant heaven [musical interlude] [Verse 2] Some folks chase a wild romance Or bottle up fine wine But give me linens fresh and warm Right off the laundry line That floral blast of chemical bliss Hits sharper than perfume I crack the lid, inhale a whiff And float across the room [Pre-Chorus] Lavender fields in a plastic cap Mountain breeze in a jug I don’t need therapy Just a freshly laundered hug [Chorus] It’s ambrosia to my soul That Tide original swell I spend hours every day Under its enchanted spell You can’t stop me, it’s my obsession A scented resurrection Sniffing Gain, Tide, Clorox, and OxyClean Ascending in perfection [Bridge – Dramatic / Over-the-Top] Call it strange, call it weird Say I’ve gone too far But I’ve found enlightenment In the cleaning aisle at Walmart Foam and freshness, bold and bright My perfumed paradise If loving laundry’s wrong I don’t wanna be right [Breakdown – Spoken] (whispered) Just one more capful… Just one more sniff… [Final Chorus – Bigger / Gospel Energy] It’s ambrosia to my soul That fresh-washed carousel I spend hours every day In my fragrant citadel You can’t stop me, no prevention This is my ascension Sniffing Tide, Gain, Clorox, and OxyClean Forever in fragrant heaven [Outro] Fold it, stack it, breathe it in Let the holy cycle spin Wash, rinse, repeat my friend… Amen.
