This one’s for you… I’ll be back… Soon. Sorry… I’ve been a little… MIA lately. Life… be lifin’. Like… really… be lifin’. It’s… 3:33 in the morning. And I just… needed somewhere… to let this out. To the few friends… who keep checking on me… Thank you. Seriously. There aren’t a lot of you… but you know exactly who you are. I hope… you know… how much you mean to me. Because some days… your messages… your calls… your… “Hey… just checking on you…” are the only reminders… that somebody… still sees me. Thank you. From the bottom… of my heart. … I swear… I’m not always… this crazy. Well… maybe… Kay be Kayin’. But… not like this. Life be lifin’. And lately… it’s been lifin’ a little too hard. Every time… I think… “Okay… maybe this is finally getting better…” Life says… “Nope.” Here’s another plot twist. Another mountain. Another lesson. Another thing… I didn’t ask for. Literally… so crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. … Wait… What? Crazy? … Crazy? … Crazy? … Wait… … What? Hold on… What? If I told you… everything… that’s happened lately… you probably wouldn’t believe me. Sometimes… I don’t even believe me. It feels like… every time… I finally… start putting… my pieces… back together… life shakes… the whole table… again. Round… and round… and round. Here it comes… again. Some days… I don’t know… if I’m healing… or just surviving… until tomorrow. I’m not on pause. I’m spinning… quietly. Where no one… can see me. This is crazy. I’m just… a freaking girl… trying to heal… while life… keeps lifin’. Trying to smile… while my brain… is louder… than the room. Trying to remember… what peace… used to feel like. Trying to become… someone… I’m proud… to meet again. Can I tell you something? Seriously… Thank you. That text you sent… last week… meant everything… to me. I know… that probably… sounds crazy. But… life be crazy. Lately. You never know… what somebody’s carrying… when they read… “I’m thinking about you.” Or… “Just checking in.” Or… “I hope you’re okay.” Those little messages… don’t feel little… to me. They feel… like hope. You are seen. You are loved. You matter. To me. Always. I’m here for you… even when… I’m trying… to be here… for myself. I’m listening… even when… I can’t find… the words… to speak. Please don’t ever think… I stopped caring. Sometimes… I’m just fighting… a battle… I don’t know… how to explain. Sometimes… replying… takes everything… I have. Not because… I don’t want to. Because… I’m still trying… to find… myself again. Thank you… for waiting. Thank you… for checking on me. Thank you… for loving me… through this version… of me. You’re holding together… pieces… I can’t hold… by myself… right now. You are… the glue… holding me together. I’m sorry… it’s taking me… so long… to find my way back. I appreciate you… one hundred. More than… you’ll probably… ever know. Life… be lifin’. Kay… be Kayin’. And sometimes… Kay… needs a minute. Not because… she’s giving up. Because… she’s trying… to come back… stronger… than she left. I’ll be back… Soon. I think. … I hope. … No. I will. Maybe not… the same version… of me. Maybe… a little softer. Maybe… a little wiser. Maybe… with a few more scars. But… I’ll be back. And until then… if nobody’s told you today… You are seen. You are loved. You matter. To me. Always. Thank you… for loving me… when I couldn’t… quite love… myself. … Okay… I’m gonna try… to get some sleep now. It’s… 3:33. I’ll be back… Soon. Love, Kay. 🦋
