[PETE'S CRUSADE] [Intro — distorted guitar over fiddle, fast and dirty] [Verse 1] Pete showed up with his Bible cocked Hung a cross where the flag had been Invited his preacher to the Pentagon Said boy this is where God's work begins Scrapped the rules about religion Said secular humanism's a sin Twenty-two year olds cleaning their rifles Don't know what they just got themselves in [Chorus] Pete's crusade! Holy war! Don't ask what you're fighting for! Pete's crusade! God's in charge! Pentagon's got Jesus on the march! [Verse 2] Stepped up to the microphone Monday Called Iran a prophetic delusion Tuesday his commanders told the troops That Armageddon was the whole solution Trump's been anointed to light the fire Book of Revelation slide eleven Two hundred soldiers filed their complaints Pete was busy taking orders from heaven [Chorus] Pete's crusade! Holy war! Don't ask what you're fighting for! Pete's crusade! God's in charge! Pentagon's got Jesus on the march! [Bridge — half tempo, growled] They swore an oath to the Constitution Not to Pete's personal revelation But the Pentagon said no comment And God said full speed ahead [Verse 3] Doug Wilson preached in the briefing room Said women shouldn't serve or vote The nuclear codes are in the same building Somebody please take note Two hundred complaints filed anonymously Congress wrote a strongly worded letter Pete kept praying for the end of days Said Lord make Armageddon better [Final Chorus — double time, full band] Pete's crusade! Holy war! Now we know what we're fighting for! Pete's crusade! God's in charge! Pentagon's got Jesus on the march! On the march! On the march! On the march! [Outro — distorted fiddle screaming over power chords, fades hard]
