[Verse 1] Welcome in Brave shopper Mind the goat He bites Armor on the coat rack Health potions by the mints Don’t touch that glowing necklace It screams most nights And if you find loose eyeballs Those are display only [Chorus] I’m just a shopkeep NPC Stuck on this rug till the end of time Got four whole lines of dialog And half of them are “that costs nine” You’re out there saving kingdoms I’m alphabetizing slime Welcome to my humble store (please stand in a single line) [Verse 2] You killed a god upstairs Then came down for store credit You brought me one damp feather And said “This was quite a trek” I’ve seen twelve chosen heroes All wearing stolen capes If you’re “the only one ” my friend You’ve all copied the same save state [Chorus] I’m just a shopkeep NPC Respawned behind this counter Every single dawn You glitch through walls and barrels Then blame it all on “lag” and “ping” and “despawn” You’re off to fight a dragon I’m stuck with its old fang But hey That’s twenty percent markup (on pain, despair, and fangs) [Bridge] Why do you keep selling me The junk I sold to you? It still has my price sticker And your name carved in it too You ask “Any secret rumors?” You wink You nudge You lean Fine: the king is three raccoons In an overpolished suit of green [Chorus] I’m just a shopkeep NPC Press X to hear me sigh Press Y to skip my tragic backstory You never even try You’ll save the world by dinner I’ll sweep this same old floor But if you ever need more socks You know which door (hey!) You know which door [Outro] So good luck Great big legend Return when you’re half-dead I’ll still be here Eternally Staring at the “CLOSED” sign in my head
