✦━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ## **Why Is It Always Fruit?** 🍍🐿️ *One wet street. One tactical cat. One increasingly unstable squirrel. One captain whose deepest nightmare has apparently evolved limbs.* ✦━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ### ❖ **We Should Never Have Opened That Gate** ┌─ **Cold Open** │ │ I proceed from the premise... │ that we should never have opened that gate. │ │ The street was wet. │ Everything was too PINK. │ │ Captain Gatlori in full armour, │ bald head shining, │ squirrel badge on his chest │ like it was supposed to help. │ │ It did not. │ ╰─ ### ❖ **The Pineapple Mutants** ┌─ **Verse I** │ │ The pineapple mutants were everywhere. │ Tall. Spiky. Breathing. │ │ Some of them had glowing eyes │ and mouths that opened sideways. │ │ Gatlori stopped so hard │ his boots screamed. │ │ He made the sound. │ │ That wet, broken, soul-leaving sound │ of a man watching his personal hell │ grow arms and start walking. │ ╰─ ### ❖ **Someone Had to Pretend** ┌─ **Chaos Lift** │ │ Cat looked bored in her tiny armour and sunglasses. │ │ Maître Noisette the squirrel │ was already vibrating. │ │ Tiny gun. │ Tiny sunglasses. │ │ Tail so puffed │ it looked like it had its own heartbeat. │ │ I just kept walking │ because someone had to pretend │ this was still a normal mission. │ ╰─ ✦━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ### ❖ **The Juice Problem** ┌─ **Verse II** │ │ Gatlori refused to raise his weapon. │ │ He said │ │ If the juice hits the armour │ I will never be clean again. │ │ So he walked the whole street │ sideways, │ hand clamped over his nose, │ while the pineapple people │ watched us │ like we were the ones who needed help. │ ╰─ ### ❖ **Noisette Snapped** ┌─ **Squirrel Breakdown** │ │ Noisette snapped. │ │ He screamed something ancient and squirrel │ and launched himself │ straight at the nearest mutant’s head. │ │ Cat had to fire the little jetpack │ just to catch him mid-air │ by the tail. │ │ Gatlori made the pineapple-cough sound │ so loud │ two of the mutants actually stepped back. │ ╰─ ### ❖ **Tactical Fruit Pursuit** ┌─ **Instrumental Passage** │ 🪗🎻🥁⚙️🍍 ╰─ ### ❖ **It’s on My Boots** ┌─ **Final Mess** │ │ We ran. │ Of course we ran. │ │ Gatlori yelling │ │ IT’S ON MY BOOTS, I CAN FEEL THE JUICE │ │ even though it wasn’t. │ │ Noisette still holding a chunk of spiky skin │ like a war prize. │ │ Cat looking at all of us │ with the pure, silent judgement │ only a cat in tactical sunglasses can give. │ │ And me? │ │ I kept thinking │ why do the hostile civilisations │ always have to be fruit. │ ╰─ ### ❖ **Something Is Growing** ┌─ **Soft Stupid Ending** │ │ Later Gatlori tried to burn his own armour. │ │ Noisette planted the chunk of skin │ behind the ship │ and sat on it like a king. │ │ I told him no. │ He did it anyway. │ │ Something is already growing │ and I swear │ it’s smiling. │ ╰─ ✦━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ © 2026 by ꧁༺ Tαɾʝα ༻꧂ | AI-GENERATED CONTENT | gem. Art. 50 EU AI Act · Verordnung EU 2024/1689
