[Intro: slap bass riff, gang shouts] Sign it (sign it) Sign it (sign it) Twelve wings Ten minutes [Verse 1: sly, half spoken] Saturday in Buffalo and the Bills are up by three My mother's in from Dayton and she's sitting next to me There's a wall above the fryer full of faces red as brick Twelve ghost pepper wings in ten minutes, and you're out if you get sick Make it to the end, they put your picture on the wall Get a t shirt and a sundae and you don't pay at all Waitress drops a clipboard and a pen somebody chewed Says sign here, and here, and here's the part that says we warned you, dude [Pre-Chorus] Mom says, Danny, you cried at a taco truck in two thousand nine I said, Ma, I was nineteen, I'm a grown man, I'll be fine And the whole bar counts it down Five, four, three, two, one [Chorus: shouted, gang vocals] Sign the waiver (sign it) Twelve on the plate and ten on the clock Sign the waiver (sign it) No milk, no bread, no napkins, no stop Sign the waiver (sign it) Put my face on the wall up there Sign the waiver (sign it) I signed it twice and I don't care [Verse 2: getting desperate] Wing one, I'm a legend, wing two, a little spice Wing three, I hear my heartbeat in my teeth, and it's not nice Wing four, my hat is sweating, wing five, I lost a shoe Wing six, I text my ex I'm sorry and she texts back, who Wing seven, the bartender mutes the game and bows his head Wing eight, I tell my mother that the dog goes to my brother Ted Wing nine, I grab a napkin and I wave it like a flag The whole bar goes quiet and my mother grabs her bag [Pre-Chorus] Mom puts her reading glasses on And takes the pen out of my hand Signs her name in perfect cursive Hands me her light beer, says, hold this, hon [Bridge: drops to slap bass and stomp, gang counts] Wing ten (ten), like it owes her money Wing eleven (eleven), like a Tuesday lunch Wing twelve (twelve), she licks one finger Looks at the waitress, says, where's my sundae [Stomp Break: gang chant] Linda (Linda) Sixty one (sixty one) Dayton, Ohio (Dayton) Linda (Linda) [Final Chorus: shouted, gang vocals] She signed the waiver (she signed it) Three on the plate and a minute on the clock She signed the waiver (she signed it) Sixty one years old and she didn't stop She signed the waiver (she signed it) Her face is on the wall up there And mine's on the other wall (wall of shame) with a napkin in my hair [Outro: slap bass, crowd cheering] She got the t shirt She got the sundae I got the bill Thanks, Ma
