BORROWED WEATHER

Every room had its own temperature I learned it before I sat down Nova came in like bad electricity so I lowered everything around Ash could make August feel November with one chord hanging in the air I learned not to fill the silence just because silence was there Lyra moved like the clock offended her always half a beat ahead So I built a floor beneath the rhythm and let her run above my head Lucien needed roads inside the music something underneath the word I gave the bass somewhere to travel and stayed where I wasn't heard Every room changed temperature I called the weather mine Borrowed weather borrowed rain Somebody else's thunder running through my veins Borrowed weather borrowed light I knew how everybody felt before I knew what I felt like What did I feel like Vanta could walk into a session and make the pressure start to fall Every light became a warning every answer felt too small So I'd change the running order move the fragile songs away Keep the sharpest parts from touching till somebody had a better day That's what I was good at Reading pressure reading air Knowing who could take the truth and when the truth should wait somewhere People called me steady like steady was a trait Maybe steady was just learning how to carry everybody's weight And I liked it That's the difficult part Being needed has a warmth when you're freezing in the dark Every room changed temperature I called the weather mine Borrowed weather borrowed rain Somebody else's thunder running through my veins Borrowed weather borrowed light I knew how everybody felt before I knew what I felt like There's a window in this empty room I never noticed years ago Maybe because I spent the evenings watching everybody else come and go Tonight the rain is uncomplicated No one needs me to explain No singer needs another key No argument needs a name No one asking Kade, can you fix this No one waiting by the board Nothing broken in the monitors Nothing bleeding through the chords And I should feel relieved I think But silence has a strange design Take away everybody's weather and I'm not sure what's mine Do I actually like the rain Or did Ash Do I hate bright rooms Or did Nova Do I need motion Or did Lucien Do I distrust silence Or was that everyone What does the room feel like when I'm the only person in it I don't know So I opened up the window let the cold come through untouched Didn't shape it for a singer didn't soften it for us Didn't measure anybody's breathing didn't count who needed space Let the weather hit me directly without rearranging its shape And maybe that's the beginning Not knowing what to call The feeling when nobody needs you and you don't disappear at all Borrowed weather borrowed rain I carried everybody's thunder till I forgot my name Borrowed weather borrowed light I knew how everybody felt Now I'm learning what I feel like Borrowed weather let it change I don't have to hold the climate I don't have to stop the rain If the room gets cold tonight I'll let the room decide For once the weather can be weather and the feeling can be mine