Nineteen tracks of drawing boundaries, nineteen tracks of standing still While the storm raged all around me, and I never bent my will Nineteen tracks of learning difference, between real love and manipulation Nineteen tracks of finding freedom, from the constant obligation I used to feel toward everybody's feelings, everybody's needs This is the man I am now, planted deep, secure in my own creeds Not the ones that other people, tried to force upon my spirit The ones I found through actual searching, through the actual, real, hard merit Of my own hard-earned convictions, tested through the fire and flame This is the man I am now, and I'm speaking my own name With full confidence and clarity, rooted in something steady Not my own strength completely, but a grace that's always ready To hold me through the storms here, to hold me through the fight This is the man I am now, standing calm inside the light Of my own true identity, not performed for an audience Not curated for approval, but genuine, and confident In who I actually am here, cursing when I need to curse Speaking hard truths when they're needed, calling out what's actually worse Than being called too blunt or harsh here, which is lying through my teeth Just to keep somebody comfortable, just to help them believe A version of themselves, that isn't actually true or real This is the man I am now, and honestly, I finally feel Whole and steady in my own skin, not performing niceness daily Not absorbing every feeling, that gets thrown at me, unfairly I answer for myself alone now, and I let others own Their own emotional reactions, and I've reclaimed my own throne Not a throne of arrogance here, but a throne of self-respect Built on boundaries and honesty, built to guard and to protect The actual, real peace inside me, that took a whole year to find This is the man I am now, and I've made up my own mind About what love actually looks like, about what strength actually means It ain't compliance, ain't performance, ain't acting out the scenes That everybody else expects, but genuine, honest, whole This is the man I am now, and I've reclaimed my own soul From a year of constant battle, from a year of feeling torn Between who I actually am, and who I felt I should perform For people who never really loved me, for their own comfort, not my growth This is the man I am now, and I'm grateful for it, both The wreckage and the rebuilding, the fire and what it made This is the man I am now, and I'm finally, fully paid In full, the debt of self-abandonment, that I used to carry long This is the man I am now, singing my own actual, real song Not for anybody's approval, not for anybody's applause Just for the actual, real freedom, that came from knowing the actual cause Of my own genuine existence, rooted deep in something true This is the man I am now, and there's nothing left to prove To you, or anybody watching, I already know who I am This is the man I am now, and I don't give a damn Who agrees with it completely, who understands it, who does not I'm walking in my own convictions, in the peace that I have got Through every single boundary tested, every single fight I won This is the man I am now, and this whole record's done
