"Right class This is genesis" Yeah this bits boring as shit Basically before absolutely anything existed yeah there was fuck all here And I dont mean like no munchies in the cupboards so ill slice a bit off the cheese type of fuck all I mean legit fuck all kind of fuck all No Greggs Mackys Xbox Netflix No bitches Or boss man selling vapes to kids, he knows are underage "shit, mate, stop it" not even the dodgy ass corner shop thats somehow still open at two o clock in the morning despite noone never ever going in Just darkness man Just close your eyes for a minute and imagine it Fucking looking like he hasnt paid the electric and shit Then my guy God turns up fuck knows where from but when he turns up bro tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrns the fuck up And bear in mind My mans got no tools No ladders Hammers Or drills Actually Probably had a little Makita set innit like if my man can create a bunch of planets Then Im backing he can bang out a 18volt DHP in a minute But yeah There was nothing going on It was shit And this dickhead just goes “Let there be light” And bang! Fucking light Like immediate LED kind of shit Which is already taking the piss Because Ive been asking the council to fix the lights in my crib All week and their still nowhere to be seen Bastards been telling me ill probably have to pay for it privately Lord please Anyway God looks at the light and goes “Yeah, Thats fucking banging this is” Then he separates the light from the darkness and shit Calls the light day Calls the dark night Calls the light day Calls the dark night Pretty straightforward naming system at this stage innit Not exactly fucking Shakespeare is it? The guys like "Day one done pssshh Easy this shit, Ive got it" So he wraps a fat one and spent the rest of the first evening scrolling big tiddy deities on Goddit Next day, sat toking and thinks “Damn I fucking hotboxed this shit” Boom! Made the clouds and sky with it Zero stress yeah Day two done He just sat admiring it Third day and my mans woke up with dry mouth so he separates the water underneath from the water above Starts dividing it Dont ask me how there was water above the sky Fuck knows I wasnt there my guy innit And shit, its only day three Were not doing physics and shit yet Yeah, Then God puts all the water on the ground and pushes it together so some dry land appears shit man And on the dry land he sees your nasty arse mamma so he floods that shit again and tries somewhere different Im just fucking with you your mums fucking fire Anyway Yeah Bro calls the dry bit land Calls the wet bit seas Again Absolutely smashing the names here Well I mean He probably didn't call it either of them If were being real likely called it something adamic But yeah Then hes like “Right, get some plants in here” Ganja comes up Trees Buds growing Green everywhere Flexing his shit it goes from building site to the best of B&M garden centres in twenty seconds looks at it “Yeah., thats sick” Day three sorted On the fourth is where you might notice a bit of a story flaw, yeah cos my guy already made light before on day one, right But hasnt made the sun yet I know Dont start Its unimportant I think that shit was misinterpreted and day one he just needed a lighter to light and spark his dooby yeah but whatever bro made the sun on day four right and the moon and stars, like Sun runs the day shift Moon runs nights So stars are basically decoration And for navigation And dudes to point at while absolutely mashed out their faces Masturbating on the mushrooms he made yesterday Fucking wasted like .... “Bro, that space shit he created is actually outrageous" Day five God realises he needs dudes To eat the shrooms And starts making animals Fish first Big fish Little fish Dont say it ("cardboard box") Fucked up fish with lamps hanging off their faces Whales Things with teeth They do not need Then birds Pigeons unfortunately God tells them “Go on, multiply” Which is biblical language for start shagging They do.... ..... Obviously Day six is where God properly starts showing off Land animals Cows Dogs Snakes Beetles Giraffes Nah not those tiny angry dogs narcissistic old women drag about That ones on us Everything else though Then God goes “Right. One more” And makes humans In his own image Which is a brave decision considering what humans eventually start doing on PornHub He makes a man and woman and basically says “Guys, this place is yours Look after it Eat the animals Smoke the plants Piss in the oceans Just dont fuck it up” And humanity especially white motherfuckers as we will discover later on takes the word "yours" extremely fucking personally looks at everything Not bad Six days Universe finished Then on day seven? God rests Because even the almighty knows you dont work Sundays unless your getting time and a half yeah Then day eight, this motherfucker looks at the world and is like "Shit this is going too well, lets have some fun" And bang, Hotwife of Pi © 2026 Hotwife of Pi. 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