The Great Banjo Bandit

Well, Lord almighty... my mind is all over the place tonight, y'all. I’m still lookin' for that banjo... There’s a silence in the canyon, there’s a shadow on the porch Somebody took my five-string and they left me with a scorch! They stole ‘em from the barns, they took ‘em from the sheds Just to stop that happy pickin' and to mess with all our heads Yeah, they hid 'em in the bayou, or buried in the dirt Just to keep this valley quiet... buddy, man, it really hurts! Oh, I’m twangin' on a uke now, and it’s way too high and small! Blowin' on this harmonica against the cabin wall! Scrapin' on this washboard till my fingers start to ache ’Cause some lowdown banjo bandit took the only thing I need to make! Yeah, they silenced all the rolls, left the country out of tune But I’m gonna find my darlin's by the risin' of the moon! Now, I got myself a suspect, lives just across the creek He’s been actin' mighty shifty, lookin' sideways for a week And Berti’s got that guilty grin, he hates that twangy sound He’s always coverin' up his ears when the pickers come to town Now, I ain’t one hundred percent sure, I can’t go lock the cage But if I find my Gibson in his barn, I’m flyin' in a rage! Oh, I’m twangin' on a uke now, and it’s way too high and small! Blowin' on this harmonica against the cabin wall! Scrapin' on this washboard till my fingers start to ache ’Cause some lowdown banjo bandit took the only thing I need to make! Yeah, they silenced all the rolls, left the country out of tune But I’m gonna find my darlin's by the risin' of the moon! So here I am just stranded with this pint-sized little uke Tryin' to make a heavy bluegrass groove, but it sounds like a rebuke With a harp between my teeth and a thimble on my thumb Just a-scratchin' on this tin plate makin' everybody numb He thought he’d kill the music, thought he’d make the dancin' stop But this Texas girl ain't quittin' till the bandit meets the cop! Hey y'all, I need some help now, can you look behind the trees? Check the cellars, check the attics, get to searchin' if you please! If you see a shiny neck, or a round-backed wooden frame Yell it out across the valley, call that banjo thief by name! Help me get my country back! Oh, I’m twangin' on a uke now, and it’s way too high and small! Blowin' on this harmonica against the cabin wall! Scrapin' on this washboard till my fingers start to ache ’Cause some lowdown banjo bandit took the only thing I need to make! Yeah, they silenced all the rolls, left the country out of tune But I’m gonna find my darlin's by the risin' of the moon! Yeah... Berti, I’m watchin' you. Give 'em back, ya hear? Or I'll hit ya with this washboard!