Hu-Man – The Most Average Hero Alive

[Intro – Narrator] [SFX: thunder, heroic choir] In a world of legends… Of gods… Of monsters… One hero rises… …who is completely average. [Guitar riff explodes] [Verse 1] A young man walked through the city gates To the hall of heroes and legends and fates Warriors, titans, gods in disguise Lightning and fire burning their eyes He stepped up calmly to the desk No armor, no cape across his chest The clerk looked up and asked his name And history changed forever that day [Pre-Chorus] “What power do you bring to the fight?” “What gift was granted by cosmic light?” He answered proud, without a plan “My name… is Hu-Man!” [Chorus] Hu-Man! Master of the average plan! Running slightly faster than a tired old man! Hu-Man! Strength of a regular guy! No lasers shooting from his eyes! Hu-Man! No magic spell in his hand! Just the power of being… a man! [Verse 2] “Laser eyes?” — “No.” “Arcane might?” — “No.” “Alien prince from stars of light?” — “No.” “Cybernetic battle frame?” “Nope, still basically the same.” “Billionaire with gadgets bright?” “No money and currently unemployed.” The clerk just stared in disbelief At this confusing strange motif [Pre-Chorus] “So let me get this straight,” she said “You’re just… a dude with an empty head?” He nodded once without a plan “Yes ma'am… I'm Hu-Man.” [Chorus] Hu-Man! Hero of the common clan! Punches slightly harder than a frying pan! Hu-Man! Running at a moderate pace! Saving absolutely nothing today! Hu-Man! No destiny in his hand! Just the courage of being… a man! [Bridge – Spoken Dialogue] Clerk: “So… no powers?” Hu-Man: “No.” Clerk: “No gadgets?” Hu-Man: “No.” Clerk: “Then why are you here?” Hu-Man: “…I really need a job.” [Guitar solo] [Final Chorus – Big Choir] Hu-Man! Legend of the average man! Fighting for a paycheck if he can! Hu-Man! No prophecy or master plan! Just the might of a normal man! Hu-Man! The hero none had planned! But the bravest of them all… …because he filled out the application form.