Tall Tales to the Country

(Verse 1) The Q3 profits were hitting the floor, When Harrison muttered, "I've handled much more. Back on my hunting trip out in the wild, I wrestled a grizzly and chased down a child— Er, a ten-pointed buck that was sized like a truck, And dragged home six elk by the sheer force of pluck!" ​(Chorus) Oh, the board keeps spinning while the numbers drop, As two grown men play king of the hill top! If every wild claim that they made were true, They’d be working two centuries, clear right through! ​(Verse 2) Before he could finish, old Arthur stood tall, And slammed down his coffee right into the wall. "A grizzly? You’re lying right out of your face! On my fishing trip down by the Hatteras place, I hooked a blue marlin weighing half of a ton, And fought the beast backward from dusk until sun!" ​(Chorus) Oh, the board keeps spinning while the numbers drop, As two grown men play king of the hill top! If every wild claim that they made were true, They’d be working two centuries, clear right through! ​(Verse 3) "A marlin?" yelled Harrison, shoving his chair, As he surged to his feet with a murderous glare. His neck muscles knotted, his jaw started clenching, Turning beet red while the room fell to trenching. "I built three huge tech-giants right out of my den, And coded whole empires before I was ten!" ​(Verse 4) Arthur sprang up till their noses aligned, With veins popping out and his teeth tightly grind. "Why, you featherbrained fraud!" he hollered and spat, "I built ten better businesses bigger than that! I patented commerce, engineered every wheel, And ran every market with greater appeal!" ​(Outro) So the chairman buried his face in his hands, While the boardroom dissolved into hollering rants. "Gentlemen, hush—just look at the sheet, We're drowning in debt and we're missing defeat. So pack up your antlers, your fish, and your pride, And take your tall tales to the country outside."