Cactus to the head (Remix)

cowpunk, country-rock, spaghetti western

+ Show full styles

[count in]
ah 1, ah 2
ah 1, 2, 3, Drop it!!!
[Intro: Catchy Cowpunk Guitar Riff]

[Verse 1]
Cactus to the head
Did you hear what I just said?
Right before you go to bed
You get a fuckin cactus to the head!

[Shouted]
HEY! HEY! HEY!

[Chorus]
Cactus to the head
Did you hear what I just said?
Right before you go to bed
You get a goddamn cactus to your head!

[Drum Solo: Galloping Toms]

[RAPID-FIRE SPOKEN WORD, NOT SUNG]
[Very Fast Male Spoken Voice]
Yeah, that's right, all you motherfuckers, man.
You get a fuckin' cactus right to your fuckin' domes, bro.
Yeah, it's like that.
It means, "With love, from America."
[Spoken Laugh]
There's nothing more American than a cactus to the head, bro.
Its just one of those things in life, ya know what i mean?.
You know my boy Bruce? He gets a cactus to the head, bro. Almost on a dailey basis.
Best to get him early in the morning,
Cuz he can get grouchy.
[spoken]
Bluff gets a cactus to the head for winning war
Nice work B, I know it was a tough one but you pulled it off, Fuck yea!, bro
Amy gets a cactus to the head for winning the trophy tournement, way to go Aim's
Shot out to New Jersey
My boy Reggie, yea, he gets a cactus to his face.
No... not because he's Black, because we love him.

Don't make it weird, bro
[spoken]
This one time I was makin' out with this chick in the fuckin' men's room,
and out of the blue, her fuckin' boyfriend walks in and says...
"Blah blah blah, thats my girlfriend, blah blah blah!!"
[laughing]
Haha ha ha. You know they BOTH took one to the head bro
So we were all at the lake smoking weed by the launch one time and all of a sudden this chick runs up to me and just starts fuckin screaming  at me, and then just starts like...  I don’t know…  tricking out, man. It was fucking weird.
So i give a cactus to her head and told her "calm the fuck down"

[Bridge sung]
Cactus to the crotch
Crank it up another notch
'Cause you stole my fuckin' watch
You get a fuckin' cactus to the crotch!

Cactus to the face
Puts you right in your place
How do you like the taste
Of this fuckin cactus in your face.

[DIFFERENT MALE VOICE: FAST, DRY, DEADPAN SPOKEN]
I think my ex-girlfriend took a cactus to her crotch once, because her pubic hair was prickly.
[LEAD MALE VOICE: RAPID SPOKEN]
Yeah, she did, bro. It was me.

and You're welcome.
[spoken]
Whoa whoa whoa, wait.....  Is that?  Is that Preston?
Hey, hey, Preston! You're my hero, dude.
Will you please take this cactus to my head?
Thanks bro
[spoken]
My dad took one to the shoulder one time
for barging into my room like an asshole, without even knocking.

THIS ISN'T YOUR FUCKING GARAGE, DAD!
IT'S MY FUCKIN' ROOOOOOM!
[Brief pause]
Oh, and Dad...
Mom's cheating on you.

Haha ha ha…  CACTUS!!!!

[chorus sung]
Cactus to the head
Did you hear what I just said?
Right before you go to bed
You get a fuckin cactus to the head!

[Shouted]
HEY! HEY! HEY!

[Chorus]
Cactus to the face
Put you right in your place
How do you like the taste
Of this fuckin cactus to your face!
[spoken]
One time when I was in high school,
I gave my P.E. teacher a cactus to the face, bro
He said, "Thanks. I needed that."
I said, "I know."

You know your mama's such a ho,
I give her a cactus to the head
instead of money for sex.
Then im like, “Wheres my change?”

The whole fuckin' town of Oxnard!
That's right, bro!
NARD CORE!!!
RIGHT TO THE FUCKIN' DOME!!
[spoken]
French Canadians get a cactus to the dome too, bro.
[SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN]
What about regular Canadians?
[LEAD MALE VOICE]
No

[spoken]
I was at this party this one time,
and there were like ten people all smoking the same little tiny joint.
So I took my shirt off, for some weird reason,
rolled my eyes to the back of my head,
jumped right in the middle of 'em, and said:...
"ALRIGHT!  witch ONE OF YOU FUCKIN' BURNOUTS
WANTS A CACTUS TO THE HEAD, FIRST!!"
They just looked at me...

...and started laughing.

[SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN]
What about the UK?
[LEAD MALE VOICE]
England?
[SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN]
Yeah, bro.
[LEAD MALE VOICE]
They're our ancestral kin.
Of course they get a cactus to the head, bro!
Come on, man!

[SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN]
and what about the Scots?
[LEAD MALE VOICE]
What the fuck are Scots?
[SECOND MALE VOICE]
You know... people from Scotland.
[LEAD MALE VOICE: CONFUSED, RAPID SPOKEN]
Dude, why wouldn't we give a cactus to the head
to people from Scotland?!  Of coarse people from Scotland
2 words for you, Brave heart, bro.
[SECOND MALE VOICE]
I think thats 1 word, bro. If your talking about the movie
[LEAD MALE VOICE: CONFUSED, RAPID SPOKEN]
Uhhh  I am, and I think you need to count them again, bro.
Cheers
[spoken]
Ramadan starts this Friday, everybody. Get ready for that cactus on the 5th day,
As-salamu alaykum....  Muhammed.

[FINAL SHOUT]
CACTUUUUUUUSS!!

[Chorus sung]
Cactus to the head
Did you hear what I just said?
Right before you go to bed
You get a fuckin cactus to your head!

[Shouted]
Hey hey hey

[Harmonica solo]

[end]

4987/7500

[count in] ah 1, ah 2 ah 1, 2, 3, Drop it!!! [Intro: Catchy Cowpunk Guitar Riff] [Verse 1] Cactus to the head Did you hear what I just said? Right before you go to bed You get a fuckin cactus to the head! [Shouted] HEY! HEY! HEY! [Chorus] Cactus to the head Did you hear what I just said? Right before you go to bed You get a goddamn cactus to your head! [Drum Solo: Galloping Toms] [RAPID-FIRE SPOKEN WORD, NOT SUNG] [Very Fast Male Spoken Voice] Yeah, that's right, all you motherfuckers, man. You get a fuckin' cactus right to your fuckin' domes, bro. Yeah, it's like that. It means, "With love, from America." [Spoken Laugh] There's nothing more American than a cactus to the head, bro. Its just one of those things in life, ya know what i mean?. You know my boy Bruce? He gets a cactus to the head, bro. Almost on a dailey basis. Best to get him early in the morning, Cuz he can get grouchy. [spoken] Bluff gets a cactus to the head for winning war Nice work B, I know it was a tough one but you pulled it off, Fuck yea!, bro Amy gets a cactus to the head for winning the trophy tournement, way to go Aim's Shot out to New Jersey My boy Reggie, yea, he gets a cactus to his face. No... not because he's Black, because we love him. Don't make it weird, bro [spoken] This one time I was makin' out with this chick in the fuckin' men's room, and out of the blue, her fuckin' boyfriend walks in and says... "Blah blah blah, thats my girlfriend, blah blah blah!!" [laughing] Haha ha ha. You know they BOTH took one to the head bro So we were all at the lake smoking weed by the launch one time and all of a sudden this chick runs up to me and just starts fuckin screaming at me, and then just starts like... I don’t know… tricking out, man. It was fucking weird. So i give a cactus to her head and told her "calm the fuck down" [Bridge sung] Cactus to the crotch Crank it up another notch 'Cause you stole my fuckin' watch You get a fuckin' cactus to the crotch! Cactus to the face Puts you right in your place How do you like the taste Of this fuckin cactus in your face. [DIFFERENT MALE VOICE: FAST, DRY, DEADPAN SPOKEN] I think my ex-girlfriend took a cactus to her crotch once, because her pubic hair was prickly. [LEAD MALE VOICE: RAPID SPOKEN] Yeah, she did, bro. It was me. and You're welcome. [spoken] Whoa whoa whoa, wait..... Is that? Is that Preston? Hey, hey, Preston! You're my hero, dude. Will you please take this cactus to my head? Thanks bro [spoken] My dad took one to the shoulder one time for barging into my room like an asshole, without even knocking. THIS ISN'T YOUR FUCKING GARAGE, DAD! IT'S MY FUCKIN' ROOOOOOM! [Brief pause] Oh, and Dad... Mom's cheating on you. Haha ha ha… CACTUS!!!! [chorus sung] Cactus to the head Did you hear what I just said? Right before you go to bed You get a fuckin cactus to the head! [Shouted] HEY! HEY! HEY! [Chorus] Cactus to the face Put you right in your place How do you like the taste Of this fuckin cactus to your face! [spoken] One time when I was in high school, I gave my P.E. teacher a cactus to the face, bro He said, "Thanks. I needed that." I said, "I know." You know your mama's such a ho, I give her a cactus to the head instead of money for sex. Then im like, “Wheres my change?” The whole fuckin' town of Oxnard! That's right, bro! NARD CORE!!! RIGHT TO THE FUCKIN' DOME!! [spoken] French Canadians get a cactus to the dome too, bro. [SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN] What about regular Canadians? [LEAD MALE VOICE] No [spoken] I was at this party this one time, and there were like ten people all smoking the same little tiny joint. So I took my shirt off, for some weird reason, rolled my eyes to the back of my head, jumped right in the middle of 'em, and said:... "ALRIGHT! witch ONE OF YOU FUCKIN' BURNOUTS WANTS A CACTUS TO THE HEAD, FIRST!!" They just looked at me... ...and started laughing. [SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN] What about the UK? [LEAD MALE VOICE] England? [SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN] Yeah, bro. [LEAD MALE VOICE] They're our ancestral kin. Of course they get a cactus to the head, bro! Come on, man! [SECOND MALE VOICE: FAST SPOKEN] and what about the Scots? [LEAD MALE VOICE] What the fuck are Scots? [SECOND MALE VOICE] You know... people from Scotland. [LEAD MALE VOICE: CONFUSED, RAPID SPOKEN] Dude, why wouldn't we give a cactus to the head to people from Scotland?! Of coarse people from Scotland 2 words for you, Brave heart, bro. [SECOND MALE VOICE] I think thats 1 word, bro. If your talking about the movie [LEAD MALE VOICE: CONFUSED, RAPID SPOKEN] Uhhh I am, and I think you need to count them again, bro. Cheers [spoken] Ramadan starts this Friday, everybody. Get ready for that cactus on the 5th day, As-salamu alaykum.... Muhammed. [FINAL SHOUT] CACTUUUUUUUSS!! [Chorus sung] Cactus to the head Did you hear what I just said? Right before you go to bed You get a fuckin cactus to your head! [Shouted] Hey hey hey [Harmonica solo] [end]

0/500