Bird Flu? Bird Flew Where? Verse 1 Turned on the news this morning, Nearly dropped me cup of tea, Apparently there’s bird flu Flying right across the sea. They’re talking masks and needles, And keeping feathers safe, Meanwhile every magpie in the yard Is laughing in my face. I checked the local gum tree, Not a tissue there in sight, No cockatoo was coughing, No galah looked crook last night. Chorus Bird flu? Bird flew where? Was it Sydney, Perth or somewhere in the air? Did the kookaburra sneeze And say, “Excuse me, if you please”? Bird flu? Bird flew where? Has the ibis got a fever? Has the emu called in sick? Is a lorikeet at Chemist Warehouse Waiting for a script? Bird flu? Bird flew where? Someone better ask the bloody birds If they’re aware! Verse 2 The raven’s on the powerline, The pigeons own the square, The butcher bird is singing Like he hasn’t got a care. The bin chicken’s at Maccas, Doing what he always does, If that bloke catches anything It won’t surprise us much. Now apparently some species Really do need extra care, And protecting threatened wildlife Seems completely bloody fair. But before we panic everyone From Darwin down to Clare, Can somebody please explain to me… Where did the bird flu fly from there? Chorus Bird flu? Bird flew where? Did it book itself a Jetstar seat And pay for extra air? Did a penguin cough politely? Did a pelican need care? Did an eagle tell the doctor, “Mate, there’s something going round up there”? Bird flu? Bird flew where? I’m searching every gum tree For a tissue anywhere. Bridge Now don’t get me wrong, Look after every creature. Use the science, check the facts, Ask a wildlife teacher. But headlines love a crisis And fear can travel fast, So before we lose our feathers, Maybe breathe and simply ask: What do we know? What don’t we know? What’s actually been found? Because panic flies much faster Than most birds can get around! Breakdown ACHOO! …Bless you. Was that a sulphur-crested cockatoo? Nah. Just Barry next door. Final Chorus Bird flu? Bird flew where? Past the roo and through the zoo And underneath the stairs? Did the rosella pack a suitcase? Did the wedgie book a fare? If you see a sneezing budgie, mate, Please offer him a chair. Bird flu? Bird flew where? Keep an eye upon the wildlife, Keep your common sense in gear. And if a magpie asks for Kleenex… THEN I’LL START TO WORRY, YEAH! Outro — spoken Breaking news: A kookaburra has tested positive… For laughing his bloody head off. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa! — Pillars of Light
