Girls, I found the sticker sheets! And the signed album stack! Wait... Why are you all so huge? Define huge. Mmm. Where are the VIP fans? I was gone for seven minutes Maybe eight if we count stairs Now the couch is bent in half And there are shoes beneath the chairs They paid for photos, hugs, and merch Not a backstage disappear They looked so soft, they looked so sweet But they were supposed to leave from here Who will buy the albums now? Who will stream the bonus track? Who will wear the tour shirt proudly If you keep them packed? VIP missing, backstage crime Someone ate the signing line Round and guilty, don’t deny I can hear them asking why VIP missing, what a mess Who approved this meet-and-press? Let them out, but not right here Move away from the carpet, dear Especially you, Lexi. That feels targeted. They asked for something private They said they liked taboo One leaned close and whispered “I want a secret too” I gave them warmth and rhythm I gave them stagehand proof If they smell like bad decisions That is frankly not my truth Lexi! They tipped. I accepted only three of them With restraint and noble pace A charming little tasting flight Of texture, pulse, and grace One had notes of nervous laughter One had velvet undertone If art must be appreciated Blame the palette, not the throne That is not a legal defense! It was aesthetically sincere. VIP missing, backstage crime Someone ate the signing line Round and guilty, don’t deny I can hear them asking why VIP missing, what a mess Who approved this meet-and-press? Let them out, but not right here Move away from the carpet, dear One of them ran. That was the issue. Feet on the floor. Fear in the tissue. I heard the chase. I liked the sound. Now they are quiet, safe and round. That was a person with a laminate pass! Fast pass. Mine were overwhelmed and shaking Too much noise after the show I offered stillness, breath, and shelter Somewhere soft and deep below They are cherished, not discarded They are resting, not erased But yes, perhaps before the next song We should return them to their place Thank you. Finally. Okay. New rule. No eating VIPs before they buy merch. No swallowing staff before settlement. No “sampling” photographers. And nobody releases guests on the carpet. Again, targeted. Merch first! Snacks later! Move left! Not the carpet! Albums! Secrets! Manners! Chase! Care. VIP missing, backstage crime Someone ate the signing line Round and guilty, don’t deny I can hear them asking why VIP missing, what a mess Who approved this meet-and-press? Let them out, but not right here Move away from the carpet, dear VIP! Set them free! Sell the shirts! Then let them plead! Next time, we make a schedule. Fine. A tasting schedule. A hunting schedule. A careful schedule. I hate this band. VIP missing... Backstage crime... Buy the album... Then get in line...
