[Intro] Kayla, I swear… one day, I’m gonna meet him. (And when I do, we’re getting matching hoodies.) [Verse 1] Every time we’re out, I’m on the Jeff patrol, Like I’m spotting rare Pokémon, that’s my goal. Yeah, I’m diggin’ for dirt, I’m pryin’ for clues, Trying to map the legend of this guy you once knew. Could be at the gym, could be baggin’ my bread, And I’m like, “Kayla… there’s Jeff!” (She just shakes her head.) Would we game all night? Would we share inside jokes? Would I add him on Facebook just to say, “Nice pics with my wife — can’t wait ‘til it’s our turn,” in quotes? [Chorus] Everywhere I go—Jeff. Man in a suit—Jeff. Guy in a truck—Jeff. Kayla says “nah”—I say “yup.” I’m not jealous, I just suspect, We’d be best buds, that’s the effect. Every stranger I inspect— Could be my boy Jeff. [Verse 2] At the movies—Jeff. Pet store—Jeff. Met a guy with a pug—Jeff. Kayla laughs under her breath. I picture us hangin’ in some old arcade, Talking about tattoos and the worst songs made. Would he roast me hard or hype my style? Would we start a band after one freestyle? [Bridge] It’s not weird, it’s fate, I swear, Two legends meant to share the air. If we met, I’d probably say, “Yo, I’ve been seeing you everywhere.” [Chorus] Everywhere I go—Jeff. Grocery aisle—Jeff. Guy on a bike—Jeff. Kayla says “stop”—nah, Jeff. It’s not envy, it’s pure respect, From one cool dude to the next. Every stranger I inspect— Could be my boy Jeff. [Outro] Kayla, you can roll your eyes, But I’m keepin’ the dream alive. One day, the stars connect— Me and my boy Jeff.
