[Verse 1] I walked into the market, thought I’d find some tofu here, But all I see are bratwurst and jugs of cow’s milk near. I asked the butcher kindly, “Got something vegan, please?” He said, “We’ve got some chicken… does that count as cheese?” [Chorus] Where’s my tofu? Where’s my greens? I need a salad that’s cruelty-free! Where’s my tempeh? Where’s my kale? Out here it’s bacon and nothing but ale! [Verse 2] The baker said, “We’ve got fresh bread, it’s warm and oh so sweet!” But there’s butter in every slice, no almond flour to meet. I searched each aisle for hummus, but all I found was lard, Livin’ as a vegan here, it sure can be so hard! [Chorus] Where’s my tofu? Where’s my greens? I need a salad that’s cruelty-free! Where’s my tempeh? Where’s my kale? Out here it’s bacon and nothing but ale! [Bridge] Oh, I tried the general store, the farmer’s stand too, But all I got was laughter, “That stuff ain’t made for you!” I dream of chickpeas, quinoa, and rice, But all these carnivores are just eatin’ mice! (What?!) [Chorus] Where’s my tofu? Where’s my greens? I need a salad that’s cruelty-free! Where’s my tempeh? Where’s my kale? Out here it’s bacon and nothing but ale! [Outro] So I’ll keep searching, though the pickings are thin, One day I’ll find that vegan win! Where’s my tofu? Where’s my greens? Out here it’s bacon… but I’ll find my beans!
