[Instrumental - no vocals] [Intro: lone acoustic guitar] [Spoken, confidential] Some men enter a nightclub and ask themselves a question: “Am I too old to be here?” This man... had never asked himself... any type of question. [Verse 1: Jack Black Vibe, Comedic Hard Rock] He backed onto the dance floor Like a truck without a guide With his shirt unbuttoned halfway And his stomach tucked inside He spotted seven young ladies Trying to celebrate the night. Then drifted through their circle Like an uncle-shaped knife. He gave the blond one finger guns The brunette got a wink He mouthed, “You girls look dangerous” And spilled somebody’s drink They closed the circle tighter He considered that a sign Then rubbed his palms together And prepared to blow their minds [Pre-Chorus] They looked toward the exit He looked toward the stars [female: questioning] “Who invited him?”. [Lead] As he played his air guitar [Chorus: full band] They like a guy who’s a bit older A little more refined A little silver in the temples A little wisdom in the mind They like a man with life experience Who knows just what to say [Women, shouted] Please stop dancing near us! [Lead] They’re playing hard to get today [Post-Chorus: gang vocals] Just a bit! Just a bit! Just a tiny little bit older! [Verse 2] He leaned beside the smallest one And shouted through the bass “You’ve got an old soul, don’t you?” She threw her drink in his face. He laughed because she “teased him” She moved behind a chair He performed a pelvic figure-eight And brushed back his sweaty hair. He mimed an invisible lasso And caught a passing sleeve The sleeve belonged to someone Who was actively trying to leave He said, “Don’t fear the chemistry” She said, “SCREW chemistry, old man” He heard the word “screw” And thought things went to plan. [Instrumental break] [Post-Chorus: gang vocals] Just a bit! Just a bit! Just a tiny little bit older! [Chorus] They like a guy who’s a bit older Not some immature boy A man who owns a leaf blower Who doesn't drink soy A gentleman with confidence A wolf among the sheep [pause | 2 beats] [Woman, shouted] You’ve been staring at my chest all night!! [Lead] I just appreciate fine art m'lady. [Woman, shouted] Yeah Right! [Lead] [Post-Chorus] Just a bit! Just a bit! Just a medically concerning bit older! [Instrumental Break: Proud cowbell, aggressive acoustic guitar over pounding club bass] [Spoken Scene] [Male: Friend] Dude, they’re uncomfortable. [Male: Lead] That’s sexual tension. [Male: Friend] "She said, Get away from me." [Male:: Lead] Exactly. The word “me.” She’s making it personal. [Verse 3: heavier] He bent his knees and bit his lip And pointed at the floor Then beckoned them to watch him They were moving toward the door His eyes kept sweeping left to right His eyebrows climbed and fell He thought he looked mysterious He looked unwell as hell. He whispered, “Daddy’s still got it” To a table full of coats Then flexed beneath the strobe light Then the bouncer grabbed his throat. [Bridge: slow, mock-epic] Who decides when youth is over? Who can number passion’s days? Can a flame be called extinguished If it flickers as it grays? Can a stallion still run freely? Can an eagle still take flight? [Female: spoken] He danced around us for forty minutes. [Band: sudden stop] [Male: gritty] No. Dude... That is NOT all right. [Breakdown: heavy riff] You are not a silver fox You are blocking all the exits You are not “mature and dangerous” You are frightening Alexis. You are not “reading signals” There were no signals to be read When she said, “Please leave us alone” That meant exactly what she said! [Final Chorus: huge key change] They do not want a guy who’s “a bit older” Grinding through their night They do not owe you conversation Just because your shirt is tight You are not the club’s dark prince You’re making strangers hide And “no” is not flirtation With the meaning trapped inside No, they don’t want a guy who’s “a bit older”, Breathing down their necks. They came to dance, not listen to your stories about your ex. So button up, collect your coat, Your legend ends tonight. You’re not a misunderstood seducer... You’re the reason they don't walk alone at night. [Outro: acoustic guitar, nightclub beat fading] [Final chord]
