Church Fan Blues

Title: “Bless Your Heart Blues” (Bluesy Southern Soul Style) Verse 1 Mama said, “Don’t start none, won’t be none,” While she whoopin’ greens in the kitchen, Sunday dress on. I was raised on “A hard head make a soft behind,” And that side-eye look That’ll straighten your whole mind. Grandma hollered, “Close my door, you lettin’ my air out,” Then hit me with a church fan Soon as I got too loud. She said, “Act like you got some home training,” Cause everybody in the neighborhood Know our last name. Pre-Chorus Ooooh… You better fix your face Before somebody fix it for you… Ooooh… Everybody ain’t your friend, Baby that’s the truth. Chorus Bless your heart, child, You out here acting brand new, All hat and no cattle, Thinking folks can’t see through you. Sweating like a sinner in church, Trying to play slick and cool, But down here in the South, baby, We can smell a fool. Verse 2 Church mother whispered, “Baby, I’m saved, don’t play with me,” Then shouted hallelujah Offbeat in key three. Deacon Jones said, “That dog won’t hunt,” Talking big every Sunday But can’t pay for lunch. Mama said, “You got McDonald’s money?” While counting every nickel Cause times wasn’t funny. And when she said, “When we get home…” Lord, the ride got quiet, Didn’t nobody move wrong. Pre-Chorus Ooooh… Don’t let your mouth write checks Your behind can’t cash… Ooooh… What’s done in the dark Always comes back fast. Chorus Bless your heart, child, You out here acting brand new, Hotter than fish grease, With an attitude too. Busier than a one-legged man In a butt-kicking fight, But grandma’s old sayings Still hit right every night. Bridge Ain’t nobody studying you… That’s what old folks say… Stay out grown folks’ business And you might survive the day… Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, We’ll laugh through all this pain, Cause Southern souls and blues guitars Always heal the rain. Final Chorus Bless your heart, baby, You slower than molasses too, Keep smelling yourself And life’ll humble you. From church pews to front porches, These lessons still ring true, Old-school Southern sayings… Singing them blues on you. Outro “Well butter my biscuit…” Grandma laughed low… “Everybody ain’t your friend…” That’s all you need to know. Verse 3 I remember Miss Johnson from down the street, Said, “You don’t know whether to scratch your watch or your feet.” Kids run wild, but she don’t raise her voice, Just one look from her house make you rethink your choice. She’d say, “I ain’t raising no fool in my yard,” Then smile real sweet while she discipline hard. And if you lied, she’d hit you with that truth so clean, “Baby, I can show you better than I can ever mean.” Pre-Chorus Ooooh… You better mind that tone when you talk back… Ooooh… Cause respect is something you don’t get to lack… Chorus Bless your heart, child, You out here acting brand new, Think you slick with it, baby, But we see right through you. Colder than a witch’s elbow, But your ego acting hot, Down here in the South, baby, We don’t forget what we got. Verse 4 Church doors swing open, fan blades start to fly, “Sweating like a sinner,” somebody hollers nearby. Deacon tapping foot like he judging the choir, While Sister Mary Beth catching Holy Ghost fire. Pastor say, “What’s done in the dark gonna show,” While half the congregation already already know. And Grandma lean over like she reading your soul, Say, “Baby, that attitude gon’ take a toll.” Pre-Chorus Ooooh… Don’t let pride make a fool of your name… Ooooh… Cause in the South, baby, everything change… Final Chorus Bless your heart, child, You louder than you need to be, Busier than trouble In a small town street. But we been through storms, We know pain and truth, And these old Southern sayings Still calling you out smooth. Outro (Slow Blues Fade) “Well butter my biscuit…” she said with a sigh, “Full as a tick and still asking why…” Lord willing and the creek don’t rise again, We learn our lessons through family and friends… “Ain’t nobody studying you…” fades in the air… But Grandma’s wisdom still floating everywhere… And that Southern blues keeps playing slow and true… Teaching hard lessons… like it always do.