I Won’t Hold On.

I won’t hold on. Honest I won’t Get my hopes up I promise. I won’t keep waiting for some great victory Or anything that resembles the slightest of decency . Leaving today Left to my own devices Dreaming. Screaming in my sleep. I awoke to the alarm- an agent of routine. I am Pavlov‘s dog- when I see the syringe My blood, it itches to push the envelope To envelop myself in. My chemical ritual. A divine diversion. I won’t hold on. Honest I won’t get my hopes up I promise. I won’t keep waiting for some great victory Or anything that resembles the slightest of decency. There’s holes in my jeans; holes in my veins. Holes in my excuses, why I’m late again. Holes in just about everything. A hole in my chest where You stripped the soul bare. I won’t hold on. Honest. I won’t Get my hopes up I promise. I want to keep waiting for some great victory Or anything that resembles the slightest of decency. Drowning in the sea of dependency. “ lefty,” you said, “My love, this drug is going straight to your head. Give it up come to bed.” But I wouldn’t listen, Snuck one more fix in. Grinned with no feeling. Laughed like the dead. I won’t hang on; I’m hung over. I won’t Give my horse up I’ll get back in the saddle and beat it to death, giddyup, to my last breath- Back in the needle again…. Back in the needle again, my friends, …