Nordic Discord Challenge Genre: Chap Hop Theme: Bragging Rights / Pat yourself on the back Lyrics: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen Today, I shall be discussing The delicate art of engineering Three dimensions Infinite possibilities And absolutely no bloody tolerance for bad geometry I walk into the workshop with a drawing in my hand A cup of coffee beside me and a rather clever plan I've got shafts and I've got brackets I've got holes exactly placed And if your dimensions don't agree Then kindly leave the space I build it up in 3D One feature at a time Extrude a little metal here Then make the profile shine A fillet on the corner A chamfer on the side If everything fits perfectly I've got nothing left to hide I'm solid, I'm solid But I'm living on the edge I've got dimensions in my head And a model on the edge I'm solid, I'm solid Every feature has a place If it doesn't fit together Then it's somebody else's mistake I sketch upon the screen Then I constrain the bloody lot Horizontal and vertical Until the sketch will not Move one little millimetre From the place where it belongs Because unconstrained geometry Is where everything goes wrong I revolve a little profile Then I sweep another round I pattern twenty-seven parts Without making a sound I've got assemblies dancing Like a mechanical ballet And if one bolt is missing I'll be working late today I'm solid, I'm solid But I'm living on the edge I've got dimensions in my head And a model on the edge I'm solid, I'm solid With a tolerance razor-thin If the drawing says it's thirty Then by God it's going in Check the radius Check the hole Check the section Check the roll Check the drawing Check the view Check the bloody tolerance too Is it centred Is it square Does the bloody thing fit there If the answer's yes, old chap Then we send it off to fab I've spent half the afternoon Improving one small line Because apparently three tenths Was not sufficiently fine The customer wants a change The boss wants something new The machinist wants a miracle And I know just what to do I'll open up the model Make a feature disappear Then rebuild the whole damn thing In approximately one year But eventually it's perfect And the drawing has been signed Another engineering masterpiece Produced by my own mind I'm solid, I'm solid But I'm living on the edge I'm designing things in 3D While standing on the edge I'm solid, I'm solid Every component has a role If you can't manufacture it Then it isn't bloody whole You see, that's the beauty of engineering Anyone can draw a shape But making that shape Actually manufactureable That takes a gentleman like me I know my datum planes I know my reference faces I know exactly where Those bloody fasteners go I know my assemblies I know my interference And if it clashes in the model I shall certainly know Measure this Section that Rotate the view And check the gap Zoom right in Zoom right out Find the thing We're talking about Save the file Name it twice Because losing it Would not be nice Export the drawing Send the file Sit back calmly For a while Then the phone rings Small revision Oh, for heaven's sake I'm solid, I'm solid And I'm living on the edge With a 3D world before me And a ruler on the edge I'm solid, I'm solid Every model tells a tale Of brackets, bolts and clever bits That somehow never fail I'm solid, I'm solid With my mouse beneath my hand I turn imagination Into something they can stand I'm solid, I'm solid That's the engineer's great art Take an idea from the screen And make the bloody thing a part And remember, ladies and gentlemen If it moves Model it If it doesn't move Model it anyway And if it doesn't fit Well, back to the drawing board
0/500