(Verse I) There lived a king with a troubled scowl, His land besieged by foes most foul. Not savages, wolves, nor fiery drakes— His troubles were a plague of snakes. The common folk had learned their ways: Just watch the nooks, mind where one strays. But kings are loath to merely cope, And so he sat and scratched his throat. He pondered traps, his mind afire, Then grinned and penned what he required! (Chorus) A copper piece for every tail! There was no chance this plan could fail! To kill the beasts and prove with sword The motivation of reward! A copper piece for every tail! Good sense and coinage shall prevail! The surest way to answer need Is by appealing to men’s greed! (Verse II) The heralds rode from town to town: “Bring serpent tails and serve the crown!” And soon the people took to task With sharpened hoe and wicker flask. The snakes were caught! The snakes were slain! And copper flowed like summer rain. Till one young rogue, both shrewd and sly, Said, “Why must all these serpents die? If every tail earns royal bread… Why hunt the snakes? We’ll breed instead!” (Chorus) A copper piece for every tail! There was no chance this plan could fail! To kill the beasts and prove with sword The motivation of reward! A copper piece for every tail! Good sense and coinage shall prevail! The surest way to answer need Is by appealing to men’s greed! (Verse III) The weeks rolled on, the coffers drained, Yet still the serpent plague remained. “A thousand slain!” the records swore— Yet somehow there were thousands more. The king grew wroth. “How can this be? Bring forth these hunters unto me!” He followed cart and copper trail And found great farms of fang and scale. “YOU BREED THE THINGS YOU'RE PAID TO KILL?!” They bowed and said, “You pay us still.” (Chorus) A copper piece for every tail! There was no chance this plan could fail! To kill the beasts and prove with sword The motivation of reward! A copper piece for every tail! Good sense and coinage shall prevail! The surest way to answer need Is by appealing to men’s greed! (Verse IV) “Enough!” the king now gave his word. "No copper more shall be conferred!” The breeders shrugged, their fortunes spent, For snakes now earned not half a cent. And cages cost both coin and meat, So doors flew wide along the street. A hundred farms their serpents freed— Ten thousand mouths now born of greed. So heed this fool before you pay To make a nuisance go away: Men chase the prize that you provide— Not always what you meant beside. (Final Chorus) A copper piece for every tail! Oh, what a splendid way to fail! For coin commands what men will do, But seldom what you wanted to! A copper piece for every tail! The king grew poor, the snakes grew hale! So ere you pay to cure a need, Be sure what behavior you feed!
