Verse 1 I’m Old Tom the Turkey, got a tale to tell, ‘Bout the day I took a nosedive and almost said farewell. They tossed us from a chopper—talk about surprise! I flapped with all my might just to stay alive. Pre-Chorus Feathers flew like ticker tape, Shoppers made a break for the fire escape… But somehow I hit the ground with grace, Now every Thanksgiving I show my face! Chorus 🎶 ‘Cause I’m the turkey that lived, Took a fall no bird forgives! Got a limp in my strut, And a wobble in my wig— But I walked away (okay… I hobbled away), From that WKRP gig! 🎶 Verse 2 My friends went down like bowling pins, But I bounced twice and rolled—then lit a grin. Les was yellin’, “Oh, the humanity!” But I was thinkin’, “Buddy, worry more ’bout me!” Pre-Chorus Now they call me Legend Tom, The turkey with a pension and a healing balm. I tell young poults, “Kids, don’t trust the sky— If you hear rotor blades… RUN, don’t fly!” Chorus 🎶 Yeah, I’m the turkey that lived, Got nine lives like some bird myth! I’m held together with tape, And a whole lotta jig— But I strutted away From that WKRP gig! 🎶 Bridge (Spoken, comedic) “Yep… hit the concrete at about 30 miles an hour. Took out a pretzel stand, a mannequin, and a small shrub. Doctors said I’d never wobble again… But look at me now—STILL wobblin’!” Final Chorus 🎶 I’m the turkey that lived, The drop I won’t forgive— But I toast every year With a cranberry swig! So raise your glass high For the turkey who’s big… On livin’ to tell ’bout that WKRP gig! 🎶 Outro (Comedic Whisper) “…And as God is my witness, I still can’t fly.”
