Garlic Scape Goat Cheese

[Intro — spoken] I said garlic scape goat cheese. Apparently, we should have used punctuation. [Banjo plink] [Verse 1] Cut the garlic scapes on Monday, Curled up green and looking fine, Brought a basket from the garden, Set it by the county line. Mary brought the crackers, Billy brought the peas, Somebody asked what I was making— I said, "Garlic scape goat cheese." [Pre-Chorus] Now I meant the scapes were garlic, And I meant the cheese was goat, But somewhere in the middle We misplaced a verbal note. [Chorus] Garlic scape goat cheese, Pass the crackers if you please, Fresh-cut scapes and creamy chèvre, Maybe pepper, maybe peas. You can parse it how you want to, You can hyphenate with ease, But don't go blaming livestock For the garlic scape goat cheese. [Verse 2] Well the goat heard "scapegoat" And she took it pretty hard, Left the milking shed offended, Went protesting through the yard. She ate half the beet tops, Knocked the hoe down with her knees, Then stood there looking innocent Beside the garlic scape goat cheese. [Full-band stop] Not the goat. [Banjo plink] Probably. [Chorus] Garlic scape goat cheese, Set it underneath the trees, Put it on a toasted cracker, Have another if you please. There's no need for accusations, There's no cause for inquiries— It's just garlic scapes And goat cheese. Mostly. [Fiddle break] [Call and Response] LEAD: Who grew the garlic? BAND: WE DID! LEAD: Who cut the scapes? BAND: WE DID! LEAD: Who made the cheese? BAND: THE GOAT HELPED! LEAD: Who ate the beet tops? [Silence] GOAT: Maaaa. LEAD: That's what I thought. [Verse 3] Now language can be tricky When the harvest starts to roll, You put three good words together And completely lose control. Scape goat cheese became a problem No apostrophe could ease, So now the sign says very clearly: GARLIC SCAPES. GOAT CHEESE. [Pause] Still confusing. [Final Chorus — gospel] Garlic scape goat cheese, Pass the crackers, pass the peas, Raise a jar of something pickled, Catch a little summer breeze. From the clay beneath the garden To the shade beneath the trees, There ain't much that can't be better With some garlic scapes and cheese. [Gang vocals] GARLIC SCAPES! GOAT CHEESE! GARLIC SCAPES! GOAT CHEESE! [Spoken] Nobody say "scapegoat." [Banjo plink] GOAT: Maaaa. [Spoken] She knows.