(Intro - Fast, driving guitar riff with heavy drums and bass, reminiscent of a loading screen or a pre-race countdown.) (Verse 1 - Fast tempo, slightly snotty vocal delivery) Sunrise hits the kitchen floor, he’s twenty-three but wants more, more, more! He’s wearing pajamas, bright purple and green, The most juvenile man that you’ve ever seen. He clutches his blanket, stained with chocolate milk, A grown-up demanding to be wrapped up in silk. They tried to give him coffee, he spat out the brew, Said, "That's yucky grown-up stuff! Give me fruit juice, too!" (Pre-Chorus - Tempo builds, drums get busier) The mall, the park, the grocery line, Everywhere he goes, he thinks the world is fine. As long as the TV's stuck on one channel's loop, But then they tried to make him eat a bowl of soup! He screamed, "I want a Happy Meal, I want it right now!" And the storm clouds gathered on his forehead somehow! (Chorus - Upbeat, anthemic, and slightly frantic) Oh-oh-oh, Big Baby Tom, he’s twenty-three and he’s ready to pop! Oh-oh-oh, Big Baby Tom, he’s throwing a fit that just won't stop! If you try to show him Bluey, he'll melt right into a puddle of rage! He needs the big purple dinosaur turning the page! The purple one, the happy one, the one that sings the 'I Love You' tune! He’s pooping his pants right under the midday moon! (Verse 2 - Slightly more melodic, focusing on his obsession) He’s got a collection of VHS tapes and dolls, Ignoring the creditors, ignoring the calls. Dora, Sesame, Wiggles—he knows all the names, But he only pledges loyalty to one of the games. He hates that new pup from down under's domain, The mention of the Heelers just drives him insane! He’s looking for Barney merch, a diaper, a hat, Ignoring the fact that he’s bigger than that! (Pre-Chorus - Tempo builds, punchier rhythm) He dropped his ice cream cone right on the street, Now the meltdown timer can’t be beat! He turns his face red, tears begin to flow, Preparing to give the world a terrible show! He screamed, "I need a change, a new diaper, quick! Or I will not stop making everyone sick!" (Bridge - Tempo slows slightly, half-time feel, spotlight on the dialogue, then kicks back in) The crowd hushed up and backed away from his might, As he let out the phrase that sets everything right: (Spoken/Screamed Break) "I'M A BABY! I'M A BABY! I'M A SPECIAL BABY! I DESERVE TO BE A BABY! GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO GAA GAA GAA GAA GAA! I WANT BARNEY DIAPERS! I WANT BARNEY DIAPERS! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" (Guitar Solo - Fast, technical, slightly whiny-sounding lead over the main riff) (Chorus - Full-out energy, maximum volume) Oh-oh-oh, Big Baby Tom, he’s twenty-three and he’s ready to pop! Oh-oh-oh, Big Baby Tom, he’s throwing a fit that just won't stop! If you try to show him Bluey, he'll melt right into a puddle of rage! He needs the big purple dinosaur turning the page! The purple one, the happy one, the one that sings the 'I Love You' tune! He’s pooping his pants right under the midday moon! (Outro - Repeated, fading chorus line over a fast punk breakdown) Big Baby Tom! Goo Goo Goo! Big Baby Tom! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Big Baby Tom! Change me! Change me! (Fast drum fill, final crashing cymbal and guitar chord.)
