Tape Measure and a Dream

Genre: Melodic Emo Rap, Trap 2 3 Mood: Humorous, self-deprecating, emotional but funny, energetic

TITLE: Tape Measure and a Dream

[Intro]
Ayo...
Calum Beacock, step forward.
Got a tape measure and a dream.
That's all he's got.
That's all he's ever had.

[Verse 1]
Walks in the pub like he's seven foot eight,
Talking reckless before anybody can wait,
Says, "I'm six-four, mate," with a face so proud,
Then the tape comes out and the whole room's loud.

Six-three and a half, that's the actual score,
Built his whole personality round an extra half more,
Lanky little menace, built like a coat rack,
One strong gust of wind and he's never coming back.

Brother walks in and it's instantly done,
Every height debate gets lost before it's begun,
Calum starts coping, "Nah, the floor ain't level,"
Everyone nods like, "Whatever helps, devil."

Built like a lamp post, skinny as hell,
Telling the same old story he loves to sell,
Brother walks in, taller once again,
And Calum starts blaming the floor and the wind.

[Chorus]
He's got a tape measure and a dream,
Reality ain't quite what it seems,
Six foot four when he's telling the tale,
Six-three-five when the facts prevail.

Whoa-oh-oh,
Living on hope and self-belief,
Whoa-oh-oh,
Half an inch from relief.

[Verse 2]
Snus in his lip from morning till night,
Gums looking like they've been losing a fight,
Everyone says, "Mate, your mouth ain't right,"
He throws another pouch in and says he's alright.

Always got an inhaler glued to his hand,
Puffing away like it's part of the plan,
Loses it once and the whole world's doomed,
Searching every van and every room.

[Verse 3]
Had scabies once and he'll never escape,
That story follows him place to place,
Thought it was finished, thought it was dead,
One person mentions it and he's cooked again.

The lads don't even need fresh ammunition,
Calum supplies it in every condition,
Every bad story gets willingly told,
With extra details added for laughs and gold.

[Bridge]
Now he's chasing RTL,
Rodding Team Leader, that he cant spell.
Talks like the role is already won,
Then struggles spelling it when all is done.

Future leader, so he claims,
Forgets the letters, forgets the names,
Confidence high, qualifications thin,
Hairline packed up, said "I'm cashing in",
Friar Tuck trim with a forehead expansion,
Bald spot got its own postcode mansion.

That thing shines like a solar panel farm,
Sunburnt red doing environmental harm,
Need SPF fifty when he steps outside,
Aircraft using his scalp as a guide.

Pat on the cream so I don't lose the dream,
Trying CPR on a follicle team,
Future RTL, that's what he'll scream,
If somebody else can spell what it means.

[Final Chorus]
He's got a tape measure and a dream,
An inhaler and a nicotine regime,
Brother's taller and that's a fact,
But it never stops him talking smack.

Six foot four in his fantasy land,
Six-three-five when measurements stand,
RTL written next to his name,
As long as somebody else spells the thing.

[Outro]
Calum Beacock.
Six foot three and a half.
Still claiming six four.
Got a tape measure and a dream...
And honestly,
you've got to respect the commitment.
P.S
His Dads on a register.

3069/7500

TITLE: Tape Measure and a Dream [Intro] Ayo... Calum Beacock, step forward. Got a tape measure and a dream. That's all he's got. That's all he's ever had. [Verse 1] Walks in the pub like he's seven foot eight, Talking reckless before anybody can wait, Says, "I'm six-four, mate," with a face so proud, Then the tape comes out and the whole room's loud. Six-three and a half, that's the actual score, Built his whole personality round an extra half more, Lanky little menace, built like a coat rack, One strong gust of wind and he's never coming back. Brother walks in and it's instantly done, Every height debate gets lost before it's begun, Calum starts coping, "Nah, the floor ain't level," Everyone nods like, "Whatever helps, devil." Built like a lamp post, skinny as hell, Telling the same old story he loves to sell, Brother walks in, taller once again, And Calum starts blaming the floor and the wind. [Chorus] He's got a tape measure and a dream, Reality ain't quite what it seems, Six foot four when he's telling the tale, Six-three-five when the facts prevail. Whoa-oh-oh, Living on hope and self-belief, Whoa-oh-oh, Half an inch from relief. [Verse 2] Snus in his lip from morning till night, Gums looking like they've been losing a fight, Everyone says, "Mate, your mouth ain't right," He throws another pouch in and says he's alright. Always got an inhaler glued to his hand, Puffing away like it's part of the plan, Loses it once and the whole world's doomed, Searching every van and every room. [Verse 3] Had scabies once and he'll never escape, That story follows him place to place, Thought it was finished, thought it was dead, One person mentions it and he's cooked again. The lads don't even need fresh ammunition, Calum supplies it in every condition, Every bad story gets willingly told, With extra details added for laughs and gold. [Bridge] Now he's chasing RTL, Rodding Team Leader, that he cant spell. Talks like the role is already won, Then struggles spelling it when all is done. Future leader, so he claims, Forgets the letters, forgets the names, Confidence high, qualifications thin, Hairline packed up, said "I'm cashing in", Friar Tuck trim with a forehead expansion, Bald spot got its own postcode mansion. That thing shines like a solar panel farm, Sunburnt red doing environmental harm, Need SPF fifty when he steps outside, Aircraft using his scalp as a guide. Pat on the cream so I don't lose the dream, Trying CPR on a follicle team, Future RTL, that's what he'll scream, If somebody else can spell what it means. [Final Chorus] He's got a tape measure and a dream, An inhaler and a nicotine regime, Brother's taller and that's a fact, But it never stops him talking smack. Six foot four in his fantasy land, Six-three-five when measurements stand, RTL written next to his name, As long as somebody else spells the thing. [Outro] Calum Beacock. Six foot three and a half. Still claiming six four. Got a tape measure and a dream... And honestly, you've got to respect the commitment. P.S His Dads on a register.

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