SMASH FOR THE TOASTER THRONE

Alternative Power metal, Mysterious, Deep Voice, Epic, Dramatic, punchy

Samples

(Pre-Chorus - Yosokai)
And I, Yosokai, with my hair impeccably neat!
My armor's always shiny, my posture can't be beat!
I stand here looking fabulous, a holy, patient rock!
While Grimbo turns the enemy to flavorless bird stock!

(CHORUS - THE MOST EPIC THING EVER WRITTEN)
OH, TOASTER ROAD! OH, CHROMEY PATH!
WE WADE THROUGH BATTLE'S BLOODY BATH!
FOR JEREMY! THE DUCK GOD KING!
WHOSE BREAD-Y DOMAIN MAKES US SING!
GRIMBO SMASHES! YOSOKAI POSES!
OUR DUCK LORD'S TOAST IS FULL OF ROSES!
QUACK! OF! DOOM!

(Verse 2 - Jeremy)
Behold my webbed and mighty grace! My feathers spun from light!
I rule the countertop from this Formica-finished height!
My enemies are CURSED! with SOGGY BREAD!
Their toasters jam! Their hopes are dead!
I am the Lord of Crust and Crumb! The Master of the Heat!
My bath is but a holy spring where warrior-ducks retreat!

(Pre-Chorus - Grimbo & Yosokai)
Grimbo: I smash for toast! It's pretty good!
Yosokai: I stand here, as a Paladin should!
Both: FOR JEREMY! OUR FEATHERED BOSS!
WHO SAW OUR POTENTIAL THROUGH THE SAUCE!

(CHORUS - EVEN MORE EPIC, WITH KEYTAR)
OH, TOASTER ROAD! OH, CHROMEY PATH!
WE WADE THROUGH BATTLE'S BLOODY BATH!
FOR JEREMY! THE DUCK GOD KING!
WHOSE BREAD-Y DOMAIN MAKES US SING!
GRIMBO SMASHES! YOSOKAI POSES!
OUR DUCK LORD'S TOAST IS FULL OF ROSES!
QUACK! OF! DOOM!

(Symphonic Metal Breakdown)
(An orchestra, a harpsichord, and a kazoo band all fight for dominance. Grimbo can be heard in the background, literally smashing a piano.)

(Bridge - Spoken Word Over A Soaring Melody)
Yosokai: "Grimbo, my friend. Your relentless smashing is... unorthodox. But when I see the golden, buttery perfection of our Lord Jeremy's toast... I understand. I understand that some things are worth standing for. And some things... are worth smashing for."

Grimbo: "TOAST."

(The Solo)
(Not a guitar solo. A solo for a toaster. It shoots four perfectly browned bagels into the air, which are instantly vaporized by lightning-fast guitar licks. The resulting "CRUNCH" is the most musical sound ever heard.)

(THE FINAL, ULTIMATE, ABSOLUTE CHORUS)
TOASTER ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD!
CHROMEY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!
GRIMBO SMASH-SMASH-SMASH-SMASH!
YOSOKAI'S UNWAVERING WRATH!
FOR THE DUCK GOD ON HIS THRONE!
MADE OF BREAD AND BONE AND PHONE!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
OF! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(Outro)
(The music ends abruptly. Silence. Then, the distinct "DING!" of a toaster. A single, perfect slice of sourdough pops up.)

Jeremy (Whispering, with cosmic reverb): "Butter me."

(One final, earth-shattering power chord that causes the sun to supernova.)

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(Verse 1 - Grimbo) I! AM! GRIMBO! MY VOCABULARY'S SMALL! MY BRAIN CELLS NUMBER ONE! BUT I CAN LIFT A MALL! I SOLVED WORLD HUNGER! WITH A PUNCH! THE PROBLEM'S GONE! IT'S JUST A LUNCH! SMASH! FOR REASON! SMASH! FOR PEACE! SMASH! UNTIL THE VIOLENCE CEASES! (Pre-Chorus - Yosokai) And I, Yosokai, with my hair impeccably neat! My armor's always shiny, my posture can't be beat! I stand here looking fabulous, a holy, patient rock! While Grimbo turns the enemy to flavorless bird stock! (CHORUS - THE MOST EPIC THING EVER WRITTEN) OH, TOASTER ROAD! OH, CHROMEY PATH! WE WADE THROUGH BATTLE'S BLOODY BATH! FOR JEREMY! THE DUCK GOD KING! WHOSE BREAD-Y DOMAIN MAKES US SING! GRIMBO SMASHES! YOSOKAI POSES! OUR DUCK LORD'S TOAST IS FULL OF ROSES! QUACK! OF! DOOM! (Verse 2 - Jeremy) Behold my webbed and mighty grace! My feathers spun from light! I rule the countertop from this Formica-finished height! My enemies are CURSED! with SOGGY BREAD! Their toasters jam! Their hopes are dead! I am the Lord of Crust and Crumb! The Master of the Heat! My bath is but a holy spring where warrior-ducks retreat! (Pre-Chorus - Grimbo & Yosokai) Grimbo: I smash for toast! It's pretty good! Yosokai: I stand here, as a Paladin should! Both: FOR JEREMY! OUR FEATHERED BOSS! WHO SAW OUR POTENTIAL THROUGH THE SAUCE! (CHORUS - EVEN MORE EPIC, WITH KEYTAR) OH, TOASTER ROAD! OH, CHROMEY PATH! WE WADE THROUGH BATTLE'S BLOODY BATH! FOR JEREMY! THE DUCK GOD KING! WHOSE BREAD-Y DOMAIN MAKES US SING! GRIMBO SMASHES! YOSOKAI POSES! OUR DUCK LORD'S TOAST IS FULL OF ROSES! QUACK! OF! DOOM! (Symphonic Metal Breakdown) (An orchestra, a harpsichord, and a kazoo band all fight for dominance. Grimbo can be heard in the background, literally smashing a piano.) (Bridge - Spoken Word Over A Soaring Melody) Yosokai: "Grimbo, my friend. Your relentless smashing is... unorthodox. But when I see the golden, buttery perfection of our Lord Jeremy's toast... I understand. I understand that some things are worth standing for. And some things... are worth smashing for." Grimbo: "TOAST." (The Solo) (Not a guitar solo. A solo for a toaster. It shoots four perfectly browned bagels into the air, which are instantly vaporized by lightning-fast guitar licks. The resulting "CRUNCH" is the most musical sound ever heard.) (THE FINAL, ULTIMATE, ABSOLUTE CHORUS) TOASTER ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD! CHROMEY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH! GRIMBO SMASH-SMASH-SMASH-SMASH! YOSOKAI'S UNWAVERING WRATH! FOR THE DUCK GOD ON HIS THRONE! MADE OF BREAD AND BONE AND PHONE! QUACK! QUACK! QUACK! OF! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (Outro) (The music ends abruptly. Silence. Then, the distinct "DING!" of a toaster. A single, perfect slice of sourdough pops up.) Jeremy (Whispering, with cosmic reverb): "Butter me." (One final, earth-shattering power chord that causes the sun to supernova.)

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