No. Don't look at me like that. There's nothing here. There can't be. You don't belong in rooms like mine, That's what they'd say, so I draw the line. Different doors, different side of town, I wear the name, you wear it down. I know the rules, I know my place, I know the whispers I'd have to face. So when they ask, I laugh it away— You? Please. Not in a million days. But why do I know when you walk in? Why does the whole damn room go thin? Why do I feel you without a touch? Why does "nothing" hurt this much? You're below my name— But under my skin. I won't let you out, I won't let you in. They'd tear me apart If they knew what I hide. So I call it nothing— Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. No-thing— No-thing— Why does nothing hurt? I could have anyone they'd approve, Perfect manners, polished shoes. Someone proper, someone safe, Someone everybody says I should crave. Then you lean close, say something low, And every bit of good sense goes. I turn away before you see How badly you're getting to me. Don't say my name like you know it. Don't make me want you to show it. Don't stand there looking right through Every lie I tell about you. You're below my name— But under my skin. I swear I don't want you— Say it again. I don't. I don't. I DON'T— ...Then why does it hurt? TO WANT YOU. TO HIDE YOU. TO NEED YOU. DENY YOU. Too low for the crowd, Too close to my heart. I keep us divided— It's tearing me apart. Maybe I'm cruel. Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I hate how much I care. Because if nobody watched, If nobody knew, If there were no names between me and you... Would I still say no? You're below my name— But under my skin. And every time I deny you, You dig deeper in. Let the whole world talk, Let them call it a crime— I can lie to the population... But I can't lie to myself Every time. There's nothing here... Nothing here... Nothing— Why does nothing hurt this much?
