[Verse 1] I left the Isle of Sure one morning As fog rolled from the bay, The harbour bells behind me Slowly faded into grey. Deacon Ninety-Eight waved goodbye. He shouted from the pier, "If you find Noah's other boat, Let me know it's there." A narrow road of cobblestones Went winding through the downs, Past signposts pointing everywhere And none towards a town. Till through the mist a weather vane Appeared beside the sea, And underneath a wooden board: APPARENTLY-ON-SEA [Verse 2] The town was built on rumours, With crooked lanes and squares. Every pub had different stories Hanging in the air. I stopped inside The Hearsay Arms To shelter from the rain, Where All-Ears Alan held court And repeated things again. The baker said he'd heard a tale From the butcher's cousin's mate. The butcher said, "It's definitely true." I said, "That's rather vague." A fisherman named Mick spoke up. "My mate says he's been shown A secret tunnel under Rome By monks with telephones." I asked, "Did your mate see it himself?" Mick paused a little while. He said, "Well actually... his mate did." The pub broke into smiles. [Chorus] Oh, it's Gullibles Travels, I've wandered far and wide, Through the Land of Certain Knowledge And the Sea of Parish Pride. Where every rumour's gospel, mate, And every hunch is true, I said, "Hang on a second, son, Who told this tale to you?" It's all common, mate, Use your nut and think it through. Just because somebody says it's true Don't mean that it is true. [Verse 3] Beyond the town the coastline rose To cliffs of chalk and stone, Where black crows circled overhead And castle towers shone. The road climbed through a thunderstorm By lantern-light and rain, Till Castle Proof stood on the hill Above the winding plain. A guard stepped from the gateway. "What reason brings you here?" I said, "I'm looking for the truth." He said, "You'll need a year." Inside were maps and manuscripts, And books from floor to roof. I said, "Which one contains the facts?" He said, "Well... all of them claim to." [Verse 4] There was Certainly Sid from Song One, Now lecturing the hall. He'd proved six things by breakfast. By dinner, twenty-four. Professors filled the corridors Discussing ancient lore. Each one had found the final key. Then someone found one more. One fellow had a chart so large It stretched across three rooms. Another held a compass Pointing boldly at assumptions. I said, "Has anyone checked all this?" They looked at me confused. One said, "That sounds unnecessary." The others all agreed. [Chorus] Oh, it's Gullibles Travels, I've wandered far and wide, Through the Land of Certain Knowledge And the Sea of Parish Pride. Where every rumour's gospel, mate, And every hunch is true, I said, "Hang on a second, son, Who told this tale to you?" It's all common, mate, Use your nut and think it through. Just because somebody says it's true Don't mean that it is true. [Bridge] That night I climbed the highest tower And looked beyond the rain. Far away through sheets of mist I saw lamps upon a plain. A railway crossed the darkness, Its windows glowing warm. And someone said, "That's Kingdom Ron." Just then there came a storm. Lightning flashed across the hills. The castle windows shook. I asked, "What's over there?" They said, "You'll have to go and look." [Final Chorus] Oh, it's Gullibles Travels, And the road rolls ever on, Past every tale in Apparently And every claim in Ron. Where every map has secret paths And every path finds clues, And every fellow swears he's right When standing in his shoes. It's all common, mate, Use your loaf and have a think. Some things are worth believing, Some deserve another blink. [Outro] The rain beat hard upon the road. The midnight train gave warning. I pulled my travelling coat up tight. A porter called: "Kingdom Ron! Last train till morning!" I grabbed my bag. "Go on then." And off we went again.
